Do I Look Stupid to You?

I surely must to the kids. They lie or at least omit the truth and really, truly think that I don't know it. It's so weird, I don't even get it. Maybe I'm just too sequestered in my own crazy little foster care world and I'm somewhat jaded and cranky by this time, but I find it unbelievably annoying. It's almost like part of a shared culture that they bring with them.

I really do think the most irritating thing about it is that they think that I'm dumb enough to believe them. Yes, I do make it about me far more than I should.

Tomorrow Will Be Better

Not a great end to the day for me.

The middle girls have been running around and shrieking since this afternoon and I have not been very patient with it. They didn't do the few things that I asked them to do before bedtime and their giggly shrillness is irritating every last nerve.

I was unintentionally snappish with Shorty on my way to shush them and put them back on task. Squeaker slammed the door twice when I told her not to go into the bathroom with Lucky and then told me she didn't slam anything, saying snottily, "You just hate everybody because your little kid got hurt." Yeah, whatever. She said I was mad at her all weekend and so I did tell her that I actually was pretty annoyed that she slammed doors and talked rudely to me repeatedly when I asked her to do things she should already know. This morning she slammed the door because I called her out on a lie. She lies and then she's the one who gets to slam the door? Unfair, I say.

The Boss is a horrible patient and I am a short-tempered nurse. He asks...or whines rather...for things all day long. When I'm lifting, carrying, holding him he immediately begins whining for me to do something or get something else for him. Did I mention how heavy he is with that cast on? I finally told him to knock it off and give me a break. He's going to have to be way more patient so I can schlep him where he needs to go then run around and get all the stuff he needs.

I'm feeling very aggravated with myself tonight and I'm sure the kids feel the same. I'm going to try very hard to do better tomorrow.

File Under "Shoulda Known"

Drama Boy called his social worker today to ask if he can move from here, stating that he "really missed {Sparky}". Funny that he didn't "really miss" him until a weekend visit when his mom and grandma could go to work on him. Both boys said they wanted to live apart and DB was going to move too but begged to stay. Now all of a sudden he is clawing to get out and back in the group home. Maddening.

Even though he promised that if he stayed his "getting out" behavior would not continue, it flared up today with a half hour of gagging and crying at breakfast about scrambled eggs. He decided that we were making things he didn't want to eat on purpose just to be mean. Although to be fair, I did tell him maybe I needed to cook foods that weren't his favorite so he could learn to eat them politely as that is an important social skill to develop. I forgot for a moment it is his God-given right to eat only foods that are entirely pleasing and delicious to him.

He was finally excused from the table and then wailed and slammed his dishes around because he is so persecuted. For crying out loud, kid....you won that battle. Does it have to turn into a big drama about how much you hate everybody?

He started in on Lucky again and he keeps asking Ana how soon he can move. He can't seem to understand why that is somewhat irritating after his big, weepy campaign to stay. Ana had to remind him that he is here by his choice and if he wants to leave he needs to be the one to tell his social worker and attorney. Now back to the chore of getting him to do so without his feeling the need to be hateful and make false allegations to get what he wants.

No matter how much he might have wanted to stay, we knew that eventually he would cave to the pressure that his family continues to put on him. He was cooperative and happy for a few weeks after Sparky left and then as soon as he had an unsupervised visit he was back at the same old family line, parroting their exact words. Wrong of them but we're pretty tired of getting jerked around by him even though we know it's a direct result of his family jerking him around.

I think this time we've learned our lesson.

Good Reminder

Sometimes, for some reason, we remember fondly our years taking "crisis" foster placements. What were we thinking? We had houses next door to each other and took 5 or 6 kids each, either new to foster care or changing placements. We had a lot of really good, fun kids. And then there were the others that were not so fun. Usually change-of-placements-bounced-around-in-the-system-awhile kids...which should tell you something about how effective the foster care system is which is a whole other story.

Anyhoo, for the next few days we are providing respite care for another family in our agency so they can take a break. J has been here before. Eleven years old and doesn't have to listen to anybody. He's not exactly belligerent or anything, just doesn't listen. Walks away. Out the door, away from messes, as you're talking to him. Any time, any place. Doesn't listen.

Squeaker is also obnoxiously busy showing off. Manic laughter, rude conversation, and loud voices have prevailed since yesterday afternoon. The boys' room is trashed.

While Ana was sorting family pictures to give to some of our former foster children, all the kids joined in looking at old photographs. Upon seeing a picture of our younger brother in the Army and hearing that our other little brother just signed up and starts boot camp soon, J said with a smile, "I bet you're going to be sad when they die."

Well, he got the "lecture" from me and I finished by telling him don't ever again say that to anybody who has a family member in service to our country.

But then, of course, he doesn't listen.