Squeaker turns fourteen today. She had a very rough week but, after a confrontation on Wednesday, really pulled it up yesterday. She is off the hook from doing my chores, although still grounded next week. We've had some rough times for the past four years but I think she's actually going to be the one who comes out of her teen years with some wisdom and maturity. We work on her issues a lot and she is often forced to face her behavior and accept responsibility. After some major drama and rage, she usually rises to the occasion and attempts to make positive changes.
Her younger birth sister is coming to stay the weekend with us. She hasn't seen her in four years and is very excited about it. I'm glad her sister's dad is letting her come. She is back in contact with her older birth sister who is now married with a daughter of her own. Yesterday she found out that ther birth mother desires to have contact with her again. I am apprehensive about it because of how horribly her mom treated her at their last phone call, but I am going to allow it with supervision because Squeaker misses her and has been wanting to talk to her for some time.
I am so proud to be this girl's mom. I keep trying to tell her that she is so much more than her diagnosis and her rotten past, so much better than the negative self-talk and victim status that she spends so much time thinking about. Some day she's going to believe it and she's going to be great.
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Happy Birthday, Teenager
Yesterday was Squeaker's 13th Birthday. I won't even get into how weird it feels to be the mom of two teenage girls (not to mention a grandma) even though I have only been parenting for 6 1/2 years.
Squeaker received earrings and make-up and permission to wear both. After dropping the middle boys off with their grandma, the rest of us went to the mall so she could get her ears pierced. We had gigantic hamburgers and chocolate shakes for lunch then spent the rest of the afternoon at home snuggled under blankets watching videos. On Friday she will have a sleepover with her friends which will be her first one ever.
I am very near to finalizing Squeaker's adoption and we are very excited. I go to sign her adoption papers early next month. Her social worker has already emailed me a copy of the "telling" (a report on what is known about the family history and the CPS case). In spite of her challenging behavior, it is amazing to me that she is doing as well as she is given the long years of emotional and physical abuse she endured. There's still a lot to be done working through all that pain and the loss of her first family but she has made some tremendous progress in the last three years. I am very proud of her and privileged to be her mom.
Squeaker received earrings and make-up and permission to wear both. After dropping the middle boys off with their grandma, the rest of us went to the mall so she could get her ears pierced. We had gigantic hamburgers and chocolate shakes for lunch then spent the rest of the afternoon at home snuggled under blankets watching videos. On Friday she will have a sleepover with her friends which will be her first one ever.
I am very near to finalizing Squeaker's adoption and we are very excited. I go to sign her adoption papers early next month. Her social worker has already emailed me a copy of the "telling" (a report on what is known about the family history and the CPS case). In spite of her challenging behavior, it is amazing to me that she is doing as well as she is given the long years of emotional and physical abuse she endured. There's still a lot to be done working through all that pain and the loss of her first family but she has made some tremendous progress in the last three years. I am very proud of her and privileged to be her mom.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Four Years Old
The Boss is four years old today. We celebrated last night with my sisters and their families. The Boss was thrilled with the whole celebration entertaining his fans with funny exclamations of delight at each of his presents, especially the "transforners" . He was funny and delightful the entire evening, enjoying spending time with his older cousins. Actually, he generally is funny and delightful when he wants to be. Sometimes he would rather be demanding, ornery, stubborn, and unbelievably strong-willed. To be fair he's had a lot of modeling of not-so-cooperative behavior spending his whole life with a long succession of traumatized kiddos who often make him the target of their misplaced anger.
He's always been a little bitty guy, born premature and playing catch up ever since. He didn't sit up until 9 months, walked at 19 months, and on his second birthday had a whopping vocabulary of 5 whole words (His first word was "kitty". "Mama" would have been a nice choice). He's very particular about his clothing and food, being overly sensitive to textures and smells. He's still working on some motor skills that Seamonkey has been adept at for some time and on his 4th birthday is yet to be potty-trained. Despite his delays he is very fortunate. His, birth mother was incarcerated for most of her pregnancy sparing him the difficulties and disabilities that afflict most of his five older biological siblings. It is likely, given the family history, that he was prenatally exposed to drugs and alcohol at some point prior to his birth mother's imprisonment.
Yet, especially at this time of year, it's hard not to think about and pray for his birth mother. Case worker reports state that she had "loving concern for all her children" even though she was unable to parent them. Nurses' notes following his birth document their very few days together. He was released on Christmas day and placed in two different foster homes before coming to me at 7 days old. His birth mother never saw him again. He was an unexpected blessing I thought would only be with me for a few months. I thought of her often as I held him when he was so tiny and it made me sad. I wonder if she wonders about him and thinks of him on the day of his birth. I can't help but think of how different his life would be if he had stayed with his original family who stuggle with decades-long drug addictions. I thank God that he has a new family who love him and can't imagine life without him and who will to the best of their ability raise him to love Jesus. Although it is a wonderful and blessed thing, adoption always involves loss. Loss of dreams and expecations, of heritage and biological history. And so I pray for his first mom whose many children are being raised by others, that her loss would be eased, that she would be freed from her addictions, and that any other children that may come after would be protected from the debilitating effects of drug and alcohol exposure. Most of all I pray that she will know Jesus so that when we meet her again one day we will all be part of the same "adoptive family".
He's always been a little bitty guy, born premature and playing catch up ever since. He didn't sit up until 9 months, walked at 19 months, and on his second birthday had a whopping vocabulary of 5 whole words (His first word was "kitty". "Mama" would have been a nice choice). He's very particular about his clothing and food, being overly sensitive to textures and smells. He's still working on some motor skills that Seamonkey has been adept at for some time and on his 4th birthday is yet to be potty-trained. Despite his delays he is very fortunate. His, birth mother was incarcerated for most of her pregnancy sparing him the difficulties and disabilities that afflict most of his five older biological siblings. It is likely, given the family history, that he was prenatally exposed to drugs and alcohol at some point prior to his birth mother's imprisonment.
Yet, especially at this time of year, it's hard not to think about and pray for his birth mother. Case worker reports state that she had "loving concern for all her children" even though she was unable to parent them. Nurses' notes following his birth document their very few days together. He was released on Christmas day and placed in two different foster homes before coming to me at 7 days old. His birth mother never saw him again. He was an unexpected blessing I thought would only be with me for a few months. I thought of her often as I held him when he was so tiny and it made me sad. I wonder if she wonders about him and thinks of him on the day of his birth. I can't help but think of how different his life would be if he had stayed with his original family who stuggle with decades-long drug addictions. I thank God that he has a new family who love him and can't imagine life without him and who will to the best of their ability raise him to love Jesus. Although it is a wonderful and blessed thing, adoption always involves loss. Loss of dreams and expecations, of heritage and biological history. And so I pray for his first mom whose many children are being raised by others, that her loss would be eased, that she would be freed from her addictions, and that any other children that may come after would be protected from the debilitating effects of drug and alcohol exposure. Most of all I pray that she will know Jesus so that when we meet her again one day we will all be part of the same "adoptive family".
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