Food Issues

Issues with food are a common theme with traumatized kids. Stealing, hoarding, gorging, not eating...we've seen it all as have many foster parents.

While not unexpected they can still be very irritating especially with kids who have been here a while and suddenly make it a control issue.

Squeaker frequently does not eat at school. Last year she got free breakfast and lunch so I wasn't that involved in it, knowing that she eats well enough at home. Except when the aides in her special ed classroom got concerned with how many times she did not get her free lunch and sent a letter in the mail about it. Again, she eats quite a lot at home and since we rarely allow junk food, it's a good variety of healthy foods so I wasn't overly concerned. This year she eats breakfast at home. Often she mopes first but if I insist she will eat. I gave her the responsibility of making her own sandwich for lunch. She often forgot her lunch or would eat the sandwich and stuff the lunchsacks with everything else into her sock drawer. She has made a sandwich only one day and even on that day she didn't eat it. I found two old nasty lunches in her backpack this morning. She gets angry when I ask about and says "Why do you care anyway? You never cared before. It's none of your business." Whatever. She'll get a consequence for her snotty tone but not her words because she's right. I don't care. I'd rather have her not pack anything than take something and waste it. I can't make her eat it and she's not even close to starving herself. I remind her that she'll be in better emotional control and learn better if she feeds her body and her brain but if she's not going to I can't force her.

Drama Boy spent too many mornings snuffling and crying over what was offered at breakfast so he is not allowed to eat it at home any more. He eats free breakfast and lunch at school. He's pretty picky but we've gotten him to expand his food horizons a little bit. We eat vegetables or salad at every meal and usually he can get through it now without difficulty. Other times he drools, gags, and pretends he's going to vomit. He's a food stealer. He takes food and sometimes eats it but other times he'll throw it under the sink in the bathroom, under his bed or in a drawer. Last night I got sent a text message "There's cheese in the toilet". DB had taken four pieces of string cheese and threw them, plastic wrappers and all, into the downstairs toilet. He ate one of the containers of yogurt that I was saving for breakfasts. He ate a good-sized roll and left the bag open. He ate directly out of the fridge from the leftover spaghetti leaving curly noodles dropped all over and the spoon still in the refrigerator sticking out of the container. Sigh. He says he's getting enough to eat but sometimes he still wants more. Fine. Ask. And for goodness sake DON'T WASTE FOOD. It's driving me up the wall. Some foster parents keep a stash of snack food that the kids can eat whenever they want so they will always feel secure that there will be enough to eat (many neglected kids including DB were left home alone with no food in the house). We tried that. A cabinet for snacks they could have whenever they felt hungry. They ate it all in one day. So now we offer snacks and meals and if they don't like what's offered then they must wait until the next one, but they may eat fruits or vegetables any time they are hungry.

Lucky doesn't like vegetables at all but is otherwise a pretty good eater. But she keeps up a running commentary so we'll know when things are not up to snuff. Last night she ate all her dinner and seconds but still said, "You know what sounds good right now? Pizza. Cheese pizza. With pineapple. Doesn't that sound good right now? I feel like eating that now."

The Boss eats almost like a real person now after years of chicken nuggets and yogurt.

We try not to make a big deal over the food issues. Our dinner rules are if you don't want to eat it that's okay but don't complain about what you are served, if you serve yourself you must eat it all, on nights we have dessert you must eat veggies first. Outside of dinnertime it is much harder to impress upon the kids how we can little afford so much food being wasted all the time.