On Sunday I didn't cook at all. It was cereal for breakfast, bbq hamburgers at church for lunch, and scrounge your own dinner from the week's leftovers.
It seems ice cream was a popular supper choice. When I emptied the dishwasher on Monday morning I counted 23 spoons and only three forks in the silverware basket.
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, October 24, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Breakfast
Squeaker drew her line in the sand and refuses to make, take, or eat lunch at school. And I don't care. Maybe I should. Maybe this is another one of her test to see if I am (in her words) "a good enough mom". But I just don't care. She is hardly starving herself and if she doesn't perform as well as she could in school because she doesn't want to fuel her brain, that is her choice.
Now she has decided that she will not eat breakfast either. That's a bit too much, in my opinion. She does not have an eating disorder (although she pretended to a few years ago and spent a couple months melodramatically telling people so). Her attitude is more like "You can't tell me what to do so s***w you." She likes to play the weary warrior in the mornings who spent all night tossing and turning (she doesn't have sleep problems but pretends she does and likes to tell her therapists and her psychiatrist so) who now must mope and heave great sighs and mistreat others because of her rough night and yell at me that she's just not hungry OKAY?
I don't care if she skips lunch but I DO care if she skips both breakfast and lunch only to overeat at dinnertime. She never refuses dinner and when I asked her why she skips other meals but wants seconds and thirds at dinner she said, "Because it tastes good." Ah, so she can eat when she is not hungry.
So here's the deal. Lunch or no lunch is up to her. Breakfast is required. If she chooses not to eat breakfast then I'm not going to fight her on it. She may be excused to go about her day. However, on those days she may not have any junk food, soda, or dessert. Even if it's a weekend, a birthday, or a holiday. It's not meant as a punishment, but I see no reason to give a green light on these things to a child who refuses to eat real food at mealtimes.
So on the first day of the new deal she scowled and poked at her breakfast for half an hour taking only a couple bites. Finally it got to be past time for her to finish getting ready for school so I told her she was excused, but remember no treats or dessert today. She yelled at me that she DID eat, before dumping a full bowl of oatmeal down the drain. No dice.
When it came around to dessert time in the evening (and it was birthday) she glared pointedly at me from across the room then moved closer to stare me down. Then she stood and leaned with both hands on the table hovering over me. Peaches asked if she was going to have any and she said snottily near my ear, "I don't think so because I SUPPOSEDLY didn't eat breakfast."
I asked her to please move away from me. She allegedly did so. Can't wait for this "I'm so weird I don't even eat" phase to end.
Now she has decided that she will not eat breakfast either. That's a bit too much, in my opinion. She does not have an eating disorder (although she pretended to a few years ago and spent a couple months melodramatically telling people so). Her attitude is more like "You can't tell me what to do so s***w you." She likes to play the weary warrior in the mornings who spent all night tossing and turning (she doesn't have sleep problems but pretends she does and likes to tell her therapists and her psychiatrist so) who now must mope and heave great sighs and mistreat others because of her rough night and yell at me that she's just not hungry OKAY?
I don't care if she skips lunch but I DO care if she skips both breakfast and lunch only to overeat at dinnertime. She never refuses dinner and when I asked her why she skips other meals but wants seconds and thirds at dinner she said, "Because it tastes good." Ah, so she can eat when she is not hungry.
So here's the deal. Lunch or no lunch is up to her. Breakfast is required. If she chooses not to eat breakfast then I'm not going to fight her on it. She may be excused to go about her day. However, on those days she may not have any junk food, soda, or dessert. Even if it's a weekend, a birthday, or a holiday. It's not meant as a punishment, but I see no reason to give a green light on these things to a child who refuses to eat real food at mealtimes.
So on the first day of the new deal she scowled and poked at her breakfast for half an hour taking only a couple bites. Finally it got to be past time for her to finish getting ready for school so I told her she was excused, but remember no treats or dessert today. She yelled at me that she DID eat, before dumping a full bowl of oatmeal down the drain. No dice.
When it came around to dessert time in the evening (and it was birthday) she glared pointedly at me from across the room then moved closer to stare me down. Then she stood and leaned with both hands on the table hovering over me. Peaches asked if she was going to have any and she said snottily near my ear, "I don't think so because I SUPPOSEDLY didn't eat breakfast."
I asked her to please move away from me. She allegedly did so. Can't wait for this "I'm so weird I don't even eat" phase to end.
Response to "Our Family"
(This started out as a reply to a commenter on the post below but then I took my rant and ran with it so it rated it's own post.)
When we had a lot more kids in and out, the food stashed all over the house was unbelievably gross. We have a very strict "no food upstairs" rule which means there's candy and food wrappers tucked in, under, and behind things and bits of lunches and stolen snacks nastifying in unusual hidey-holes. So disgusting. We don't even buy bologna because the smell of it is pretty strong even BEFORE it's been hidden under someone's underwear for a couple of weeks. Ewwwwwww! Our kids tend to be big cheese and peanut butter sandwich stashers. We don't allow gum either but still find it stuck to the carpet, furniture, banisters, and the the inside of the clothes dryer all the time.
And while I'm on my rant...two words. Ramen noodles. I would be happy as can be to never smell them again. When we did our PRIDE classes one of the trainers, who had been a foster parent for thirty+ years, said that Ramen noodles are the one thing that she could get every kid to eat. Boy is that ever the truth. Some of our kids had never eaten a vegetable but noodles seemed to have been a staple in nearly every home. Our kids love them cooked or dry. Ick.
Okay, stepping down now but still not finished. I've got a whole other food rant ready to go.
When we had a lot more kids in and out, the food stashed all over the house was unbelievably gross. We have a very strict "no food upstairs" rule which means there's candy and food wrappers tucked in, under, and behind things and bits of lunches and stolen snacks nastifying in unusual hidey-holes. So disgusting. We don't even buy bologna because the smell of it is pretty strong even BEFORE it's been hidden under someone's underwear for a couple of weeks. Ewwwwwww! Our kids tend to be big cheese and peanut butter sandwich stashers. We don't allow gum either but still find it stuck to the carpet, furniture, banisters, and the the inside of the clothes dryer all the time.
And while I'm on my rant...two words. Ramen noodles. I would be happy as can be to never smell them again. When we did our PRIDE classes one of the trainers, who had been a foster parent for thirty+ years, said that Ramen noodles are the one thing that she could get every kid to eat. Boy is that ever the truth. Some of our kids had never eaten a vegetable but noodles seemed to have been a staple in nearly every home. Our kids love them cooked or dry. Ick.
Okay, stepping down now but still not finished. I've got a whole other food rant ready to go.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Food Issues
Issues with food are a common theme with traumatized kids. Stealing, hoarding, gorging, not eating...we've seen it all as have many foster parents.
While not unexpected they can still be very irritating especially with kids who have been here a while and suddenly make it a control issue.
Squeaker frequently does not eat at school. Last year she got free breakfast and lunch so I wasn't that involved in it, knowing that she eats well enough at home. Except when the aides in her special ed classroom got concerned with how many times she did not get her free lunch and sent a letter in the mail about it. Again, she eats quite a lot at home and since we rarely allow junk food, it's a good variety of healthy foods so I wasn't overly concerned. This year she eats breakfast at home. Often she mopes first but if I insist she will eat. I gave her the responsibility of making her own sandwich for lunch. She often forgot her lunch or would eat the sandwich and stuff the lunchsacks with everything else into her sock drawer. She has made a sandwich only one day and even on that day she didn't eat it. I found two old nasty lunches in her backpack this morning. She gets angry when I ask about and says "Why do you care anyway? You never cared before. It's none of your business." Whatever. She'll get a consequence for her snotty tone but not her words because she's right. I don't care. I'd rather have her not pack anything than take something and waste it. I can't make her eat it and she's not even close to starving herself. I remind her that she'll be in better emotional control and learn better if she feeds her body and her brain but if she's not going to I can't force her.
Drama Boy spent too many mornings snuffling and crying over what was offered at breakfast so he is not allowed to eat it at home any more. He eats free breakfast and lunch at school. He's pretty picky but we've gotten him to expand his food horizons a little bit. We eat vegetables or salad at every meal and usually he can get through it now without difficulty. Other times he drools, gags, and pretends he's going to vomit. He's a food stealer. He takes food and sometimes eats it but other times he'll throw it under the sink in the bathroom, under his bed or in a drawer. Last night I got sent a text message "There's cheese in the toilet". DB had taken four pieces of string cheese and threw them, plastic wrappers and all, into the downstairs toilet. He ate one of the containers of yogurt that I was saving for breakfasts. He ate a good-sized roll and left the bag open. He ate directly out of the fridge from the leftover spaghetti leaving curly noodles dropped all over and the spoon still in the refrigerator sticking out of the container. Sigh. He says he's getting enough to eat but sometimes he still wants more. Fine. Ask. And for goodness sake DON'T WASTE FOOD. It's driving me up the wall. Some foster parents keep a stash of snack food that the kids can eat whenever they want so they will always feel secure that there will be enough to eat (many neglected kids including DB were left home alone with no food in the house). We tried that. A cabinet for snacks they could have whenever they felt hungry. They ate it all in one day. So now we offer snacks and meals and if they don't like what's offered then they must wait until the next one, but they may eat fruits or vegetables any time they are hungry.
Lucky doesn't like vegetables at all but is otherwise a pretty good eater. But she keeps up a running commentary so we'll know when things are not up to snuff. Last night she ate all her dinner and seconds but still said, "You know what sounds good right now? Pizza. Cheese pizza. With pineapple. Doesn't that sound good right now? I feel like eating that now."
The Boss eats almost like a real person now after years of chicken nuggets and yogurt.
We try not to make a big deal over the food issues. Our dinner rules are if you don't want to eat it that's okay but don't complain about what you are served, if you serve yourself you must eat it all, on nights we have dessert you must eat veggies first. Outside of dinnertime it is much harder to impress upon the kids how we can little afford so much food being wasted all the time.
While not unexpected they can still be very irritating especially with kids who have been here a while and suddenly make it a control issue.
Squeaker frequently does not eat at school. Last year she got free breakfast and lunch so I wasn't that involved in it, knowing that she eats well enough at home. Except when the aides in her special ed classroom got concerned with how many times she did not get her free lunch and sent a letter in the mail about it. Again, she eats quite a lot at home and since we rarely allow junk food, it's a good variety of healthy foods so I wasn't overly concerned. This year she eats breakfast at home. Often she mopes first but if I insist she will eat. I gave her the responsibility of making her own sandwich for lunch. She often forgot her lunch or would eat the sandwich and stuff the lunchsacks with everything else into her sock drawer. She has made a sandwich only one day and even on that day she didn't eat it. I found two old nasty lunches in her backpack this morning. She gets angry when I ask about and says "Why do you care anyway? You never cared before. It's none of your business." Whatever. She'll get a consequence for her snotty tone but not her words because she's right. I don't care. I'd rather have her not pack anything than take something and waste it. I can't make her eat it and she's not even close to starving herself. I remind her that she'll be in better emotional control and learn better if she feeds her body and her brain but if she's not going to I can't force her.
Drama Boy spent too many mornings snuffling and crying over what was offered at breakfast so he is not allowed to eat it at home any more. He eats free breakfast and lunch at school. He's pretty picky but we've gotten him to expand his food horizons a little bit. We eat vegetables or salad at every meal and usually he can get through it now without difficulty. Other times he drools, gags, and pretends he's going to vomit. He's a food stealer. He takes food and sometimes eats it but other times he'll throw it under the sink in the bathroom, under his bed or in a drawer. Last night I got sent a text message "There's cheese in the toilet". DB had taken four pieces of string cheese and threw them, plastic wrappers and all, into the downstairs toilet. He ate one of the containers of yogurt that I was saving for breakfasts. He ate a good-sized roll and left the bag open. He ate directly out of the fridge from the leftover spaghetti leaving curly noodles dropped all over and the spoon still in the refrigerator sticking out of the container. Sigh. He says he's getting enough to eat but sometimes he still wants more. Fine. Ask. And for goodness sake DON'T WASTE FOOD. It's driving me up the wall. Some foster parents keep a stash of snack food that the kids can eat whenever they want so they will always feel secure that there will be enough to eat (many neglected kids including DB were left home alone with no food in the house). We tried that. A cabinet for snacks they could have whenever they felt hungry. They ate it all in one day. So now we offer snacks and meals and if they don't like what's offered then they must wait until the next one, but they may eat fruits or vegetables any time they are hungry.
Lucky doesn't like vegetables at all but is otherwise a pretty good eater. But she keeps up a running commentary so we'll know when things are not up to snuff. Last night she ate all her dinner and seconds but still said, "You know what sounds good right now? Pizza. Cheese pizza. With pineapple. Doesn't that sound good right now? I feel like eating that now."
The Boss eats almost like a real person now after years of chicken nuggets and yogurt.
We try not to make a big deal over the food issues. Our dinner rules are if you don't want to eat it that's okay but don't complain about what you are served, if you serve yourself you must eat it all, on nights we have dessert you must eat veggies first. Outside of dinnertime it is much harder to impress upon the kids how we can little afford so much food being wasted all the time.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Every Day
We have a written schedule for the middles (ages 13, 11, 11) but every day we have to tell them to do things or they don't get done.
Every day we have to tell them to wash their hands before dinner, often after they've already sat down at the table.
Every day we have to tell them to get in the shower at shower time.
Every day we have to tell them to use soap and shampoo.
Every day (actually twice every day) we have to tell them to brush their teeth. And when they say they already did say, "No you didn't. Try again."
Every day we have to tell them to put clean clothes away and dirty clothes in the hamper.
Every day we have to tell them to make beds and pick up their rooms.
Every day we have to tell them to do chores.
Every day we have to tell them to start homework or reading time.
Every day we have to tell them to get out the door and go to school or wait for the bus.
Every day we have to tell lunch takers to make a sandwich....and then to put it in their backpack.
Every day we have to tell them to go upstairs for "room time" before bed.
Every day we have to tell them to turn off the lights at "lights out" time.
I know....logical consequences, love and logic and all that. But every day these things need to get done and I'm unwilling, at the moment, to deal with the stink and squalor and late night shrieking and giggling that would result if we didn't tell them to do these things. I guess we've picked our battles and these are not them.
Every day we have to tell them to wash their hands before dinner, often after they've already sat down at the table.
Every day we have to tell them to get in the shower at shower time.
Every day we have to tell them to use soap and shampoo.
Every day (actually twice every day) we have to tell them to brush their teeth. And when they say they already did say, "No you didn't. Try again."
Every day we have to tell them to put clean clothes away and dirty clothes in the hamper.
Every day we have to tell them to make beds and pick up their rooms.
Every day we have to tell them to do chores.
Every day we have to tell them to start homework or reading time.
Every day we have to tell them to get out the door and go to school or wait for the bus.
Every day we have to tell lunch takers to make a sandwich....and then to put it in their backpack.
Every day we have to tell them to go upstairs for "room time" before bed.
Every day we have to tell them to turn off the lights at "lights out" time.
I know....logical consequences, love and logic and all that. But every day these things need to get done and I'm unwilling, at the moment, to deal with the stink and squalor and late night shrieking and giggling that would result if we didn't tell them to do these things. I guess we've picked our battles and these are not them.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Breathe, Breathe, Breathe
Every day I am resolved to handle things more calmly and patiently and not be drawn into the emotional chaos that the kids seem to constantly swaddle themselves in.
Yeah, so tomorrow that needs to go back on the top of my list.
I actually did pretty okay during Squeaker's melt-downs today but totally lost patience with The Boss. Lately his smart-alecky attitude and his frenetic bouncing, punching, drumming, and finger-shooting has been kind of tough for me to take. That's all on me and not him, but he's pretty exhausting sometimes. Ana rescued me a couple times when I needed a break although she got pummeled by fists and feet during one of his inexplicable screaming fits.
Squeaker has had several days of histrionics over her mainstream math class. I actually think her teacher is a bit of a jerk which does not excuse her behavior in any way.
Today she did not have homework because she "was not in his class long enough to get it". Every time I probed for more information she would scream at me so I had to walk away and try again when she was calm. She hates this guy and he doesn't seem to like her much either. He won't excuse her to use the restroom even though it is in her IEP that she may be excused as needed due to a medical condition. When he does let her go he teases her about the frequency of it. I'm not sure he'll think it's so funny if she has an accident in his classroom. He sounds pretty tough on all the kids and the way Squeaker talks about him I know he's getting major attitude from her.
Today's misadventure started during roll call. He called her name and she said "Here" with that tone. You know the one I mean. So he said "Here?" and she responded (I'm sure this time the tone was paired with the look ), "I said here but I wish I wasn't". So he told her to pack her things and head back to her resource classroom.
I get the tone and the look frequently so I can understand his irritation. She's probably being a major stinker for him every day. But, good grief, buddy....IEP...Emotionally Disturbed Classroom...Bipolar Disorder. And you were expecting what? This guy needs to get with the program and be part of the solution. Yes, she's hard to deal with but she's gotta get an education. Somehow we have to come up with a response that is less punitive and more about getting her to calm down and act appropriately so she can do the work.
She wants to transfer into the other Algebra 1 class and I want her pulled from mainstream math and back to the special ed class leaving her only with mainstream English and P.E. Math may be her best subject but it also the source of most of our school battles.
Although we don't yet agree on what action to take, I told her that she needs to stop letting her problems in her math class interfere with her relationships at home. She agreed to stop screaming at me when I ask her about her math. That resolve should last until about Monday, I would guess.
So we resolved away....and then my two troublesome babies and I went and checked out the new restaurant in town, finishing off with a Mile-High Mud Pie and three spoons.
I think The Boss ate most of it which might explain some if his bounciness tonight.
Yeah, so tomorrow that needs to go back on the top of my list.
I actually did pretty okay during Squeaker's melt-downs today but totally lost patience with The Boss. Lately his smart-alecky attitude and his frenetic bouncing, punching, drumming, and finger-shooting has been kind of tough for me to take. That's all on me and not him, but he's pretty exhausting sometimes. Ana rescued me a couple times when I needed a break although she got pummeled by fists and feet during one of his inexplicable screaming fits.
Squeaker has had several days of histrionics over her mainstream math class. I actually think her teacher is a bit of a jerk which does not excuse her behavior in any way.
Today she did not have homework because she "was not in his class long enough to get it". Every time I probed for more information she would scream at me so I had to walk away and try again when she was calm. She hates this guy and he doesn't seem to like her much either. He won't excuse her to use the restroom even though it is in her IEP that she may be excused as needed due to a medical condition. When he does let her go he teases her about the frequency of it. I'm not sure he'll think it's so funny if she has an accident in his classroom. He sounds pretty tough on all the kids and the way Squeaker talks about him I know he's getting major attitude from her.
Today's misadventure started during roll call. He called her name and she said "Here" with that tone. You know the one I mean. So he said "Here?" and she responded (I'm sure this time the tone was paired with the look ), "I said here but I wish I wasn't". So he told her to pack her things and head back to her resource classroom.
I get the tone and the look frequently so I can understand his irritation. She's probably being a major stinker for him every day. But, good grief, buddy....IEP...Emotionally Disturbed Classroom...Bipolar Disorder. And you were expecting what? This guy needs to get with the program and be part of the solution. Yes, she's hard to deal with but she's gotta get an education. Somehow we have to come up with a response that is less punitive and more about getting her to calm down and act appropriately so she can do the work.
She wants to transfer into the other Algebra 1 class and I want her pulled from mainstream math and back to the special ed class leaving her only with mainstream English and P.E. Math may be her best subject but it also the source of most of our school battles.
Although we don't yet agree on what action to take, I told her that she needs to stop letting her problems in her math class interfere with her relationships at home. She agreed to stop screaming at me when I ask her about her math. That resolve should last until about Monday, I would guess.
So we resolved away....and then my two troublesome babies and I went and checked out the new restaurant in town, finishing off with a Mile-High Mud Pie and three spoons.
I think The Boss ate most of it which might explain some if his bounciness tonight.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Follow-Through
Some way-too-big bites at dinner prompted a reproof that "If you have to angle your head all around to get the food into your mouth, it's too big of a bite."
Which launched a smattering of reminders from around the table:
"If it smears food all over your lips, it's too big of a bite."
"If your food hits your face, it's too big of a bite."
"If your cheek bulges out when you chew, it's too big of a bite."
"If you can only chew it with your mouth open, it's too big of a bite."
"If food is partially hanging out of your mouth when you take the fork away, it's too big of a bite."
"If you have to unhinge your jaw like a snake to get it in, it's too big of a bite."
Naturally, they all continued to do these things but at least they know their material.
Which launched a smattering of reminders from around the table:
"If it smears food all over your lips, it's too big of a bite."
"If your food hits your face, it's too big of a bite."
"If your cheek bulges out when you chew, it's too big of a bite."
"If you can only chew it with your mouth open, it's too big of a bite."
"If food is partially hanging out of your mouth when you take the fork away, it's too big of a bite."
"If you have to unhinge your jaw like a snake to get it in, it's too big of a bite."
Naturally, they all continued to do these things but at least they know their material.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
No Animals Were Harmed in the Making of this Meal
At dinner, the Boss was trying to identify the food on his plate. He speared a piece and said, "Hey, that's a cricket."
It was asparagus. Any resemblance to any insect, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
It was asparagus. Any resemblance to any insect, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Eat a Treat, Support Adoption
This weekend when you buy a Frosty at participating Wendy's restaurants fifty cents will be contributed to the Dave Thomas Foundation to help find adoptive familes for the over 150,000 waiting children in foster care.
Pretty cool.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Something Missing?
We've been serving mostly meatless dinners for the past few weeks. This is both for health and financial reasons; part of our effort to live more simply and frugally. We do make an effort to prepare meals that the kids will enjoy and have dessert most nights. So far they haven't even noticed or at least haven't commented on the absence of meat.
I wish they wouldn't notice that we don't have cable tv. The boys comment on that almost daily.
I wish they wouldn't notice that we don't have cable tv. The boys comment on that almost daily.
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