Do Over

Got a call today from Squeaker's teacher letting me know that she has Saturday school due to some poor behavior choices. As often happens when she is upset, she had a hard time maintaining control and the situation escalated to increasing defiance and disrespect. Her teacher called back to say she was dangerously near a suspension but that I could pick her up early so she could calm down and avoid going too far in the wrong direction.

She came home around lunchtime, made herself a sandwich, and then I told her she should help me with the chores I was doing today. She worked alongside uncomplainingly from 1pm-6pm and then cleaned the rabbit's cage after dinner. Wednesdays are usually her "day off" from regular chores so she could have gone the other way and been angry about it.

This evening I thanked her for her help and she said you're welcome and thanked me for picking her up from school.

Have we ever come a long way from several years ago when a day like today would have resulted in raging, throwing stuff, and running away. Mercy from her teacher, an opportunity to settle down and try again, a day redeemed, and a fresh start tomorrow.

I like it.

Every Day

We have a written schedule for the middles (ages 13, 11, 11) but every day we have to tell them to do things or they don't get done.

Every day we have to tell them to wash their hands before dinner, often after they've already sat down at the table.

Every day we have to tell them to get in the shower at shower time.

Every day we have to tell them to use soap and shampoo.

Every day (actually twice every day) we have to tell them to brush their teeth. And when they say they already did say, "No you didn't. Try again."

Every day we have to tell them to put clean clothes away and dirty clothes in the hamper.

Every day we have to tell them to make beds and pick up their rooms.

Every day we have to tell them to do chores.

Every day we have to tell them to start homework or reading time.

Every day we have to tell them to get out the door and go to school or wait for the bus.

Every day we have to tell lunch takers to make a sandwich....and then to put it in their backpack.

Every day we have to tell them to go upstairs for "room time" before bed.

Every day we have to tell them to turn off the lights at "lights out" time.

I know....logical consequences, love and logic and all that. But every day these things need to get done and I'm unwilling, at the moment, to deal with the stink and squalor and late night shrieking and giggling that would result if we didn't tell them to do these things. I guess we've picked our battles and these are not them.