The Middle

As The Boss squeezed between me and Ana on the couch I told him to please be still if he was going to sit in the middle.

He replied in hushed tones, "Okay....but, mom, that's a bad word!"

Me: "What? What is?"

Him: Whispering, "Middle."

Me: "Why do you say that?"

Him: Still whispering but with a goofy I'm-about-to-be-naughty grin, "You know because of...." he said, pointing to his middle finger.

Oh my gosh. He's such a hoot.

Where Am I? Oh, Here I Am...**

It's semi-official with some precincts still pending...we have had one of the wackiest summers on record and that's saying something for us. The wackiness promises to continue for some time. We'll cope and adjust as always, of course, but who knew situations and people would go so crazily askew from what they were just six short months ago? Naturally, we're catching the blame.

I think our blogging hiatus is over as there is so much going on it's hard not to spill it out somewhere. This blog is public again so feel free to refer former readers back if they would be interested.

We've been taking advantage of all the free activities a small town has to offer: harvest kick-off, community theatre, free museum days, vacation bible school, movies and activities at various churches around town. Yesterday we went to the annual open house at our main fire station. The Boss sprayed a firehose, we got grit in our eyes and snowcone when the Mercy Air helicopter took off and we watched hunky firefighters crunch open a car. Everywhere you go in a smallish town you bump into people you know and yesterday was no exception, as the open house was kind of the "thing to do" for the day.

Afterwards we attended a free piano concert at the library next door and then walked around downtown until we found a new mexican restaurant to try. With only Lucky, Squeaker, and the Boss around most of the time now, our outings have been mostly pleasant. Squeaker always has some drama or attitude to take care of but for the most part it's all good. Ana even took us out to her driving route to work so we could catch some air over the huge rollercoaster dip in the road out beyond the dairy farms. No kidding, like fifteen dairies on her way to work. We count green tractors and sing the "Big Green Tractor" song. Rural hicks all the way by now.

Many more updates from the summer but I'll spread them out so you can catch up a bit at a time if you so desire. Meantime, your continued prayers are much appreciated for the older crew of teens as many life choices face them which, unfortunately, they often seem ill-equipped to make.

**Peter Lorre in "Arsenic and Old Lace", 1944.

Fun Day

We had a pleasant Easter although we were minus Lucky who was at her mom's house.

Squeaker behaved well and appropriately although she did tell anyone who would pretend to listen about how she does not want to go to the local high school in the fall.

Most importantly we are safe from candy holidays until October!

How to Make the Kiddies Cry

Last week Tappy was here for respite and we were going out to choose a Christmas tree. Ana and I hate going out to choose a Christmas tree. We were trying to decide between a fresh tree or an artificial one with the peanut gallery piping in all around.

Let's not go out, we said, let's just use last year's tree! The ultimate recycling! How green of us....way better than regifting! Ana ran out to the side yard and retrieved it. It once was a six foot Douglas fir that we got free from our church. It was a nice little tree last year. We missed the tree pick-up with our trash service so we tossed it in the side yard. When it dried out we cut off the branches and burned them in our fire pit. What a bonfire! The neighbors probably feared for their homes. It was awesome. Now it is a six foot stump with short, spiky branches sticking out all over. Perfect! we declared.

Oh, the pouting and the whining that ensued. Pretty hilarious. Always fun to make the kids cry around Christmas time.

Here's our "cowboy tree" which now graces a corner of our dining room.

I think it turned out pretty nice indeed.
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Okay, so we got a little fake tree too. Here's how that one turned out.

Incidentally, one of the things we hate about setting up live trees is all the work it takes to get it into the stand and make it stand straight. So instead we spent two days trying to make the fake tree stand up straight. At least my arms didn't get an itchy rash like they do with a fresh tree, but frustrating nonetheless.

Next year this tree will become our "kid ornament" tree. Every year we give the kids a new ornament that goes on their tree. We still have a three foot tree for that but clearly need to move on to a bigger one.

This was taken immediately after I broke Peaches' really cool new handpainted ornament. And I thought I was done shopping...guess I'll have to go out and replace that one.

Christmas Party

We went to our agency's Christmas Party yesterday afternoon. It was nice and all the kids enjoyed it. Some great young people in the Navy who work at our local veterans hospital personally bought, wrapped, donated, and delivered gifts for some of the kids. Then they stayed to watch the children open them. A total hit. They seemed to enjoy it as much as the kids. One of them had been in foster care as a child and was later adopted. He was very excited to spearhead the Navy's involvement this year.

The Boss got some Transformers toys and was practically knocking over the furniture in his haste to open it (with the helping hands of two of the staff members little boys). He even sat on Santa's lap to get them something he had vowed repeatedly not to do.

Afterwards, he said "See, Mommy, you don't get me toys. Santa brings me toys!"

Ice Cream

The littles snuck out for ice cream at Sonic after lunch today. Shhhhhh. Don't tell the big kids.

Pun Deficit

At dinner the kids were making up variations of "Holy Cow!". Naturally, being my father's daughter, I mused, "Does swiss cheese come from Hole-y Cows?" (I know, I know.....groan.)



{return of cricket soundtrack}




It took Squeaker a few minutes but she finally caught on. Boy, do we have our work cut out for us.

This and That

Last day of summer vacation. We went to the beach in the afternoon.

Sparky acted like a stinkweed most of the day but did have some occasional non-oppositional moments. One of the first things Peaches said to me this morning is "They're all being mean." She was right and it continued throughout the day.

Just to add some interest, Ana got a flat tire on the freeway on the way down to church. My carload was late too because the city is doing some roadwork which apparently required taking a quarter of the church parking lot for humongous piles of dirt and gravel. They closed off some of the parking aisles, requiring a line-up of six cars to try to figure out how to three-point-turn their way out of the little bitty remaining space. Peaches was driving so she had all the fun with me gasping and grimacing in the passenger seat. Ana and her crew were, of course, much later than us. Our church is awesome and we hate to miss any of it. Especially because it's really hard for late-comers to find a place to sit.

Stickers took the train down from L.A. and met us at the beach and will stay for a few days. Her train was delayed and she actually thought we would leave without her. No way!

The Boss didn't get a chance to have another scream-free day because I had to wash what seemed like a bucket-load of sand and crud from his spiky updo. That boy has some hair.

Meanwhile the mental gymnastics continue as to what to do about Drama Boy. He admitted to the social worker that his mom, grandma, and Sparky forced him to say this was a bad place and he wanted to leave. He still wants to stay but lots of concerns about potential false allegations by his family and by him if he continues to cave to their pressure. Very upsetting situation and a decision needs to be made soon.

Empty Pants

My mom came over this morning to help me and Ana in the garden. Before she got here, Ana was out buying groceries and called to see if I thought mom would want a diet coke. I told her I thought she would probably stop for coffee.

When I hung up, the Boss said, "Mom, it's not Starbucks it's Stargate." (DUH implied).

Can you tell what dvds I've been watching lately....and that I'm not a coffee drinker?
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We went to a fast food place after dinner for ice cream which actually turned out to be more like sugar soup. The Boss came barreling down the playground slide holding Drama Boy's jeans with nobody inside them.

It goes without saying that Sparky was up there too. Pantsing is his hobby. But I don't think anybody has lost theirs so completely before. Also, I don't know why the Boss had them. Actually, I don't want to know.

Ana Rocks (kinda)

While waiting for shot at the doctor's yesterday, Drama Boy worked himself into a fit of nervous giggling, whining and squirming. The nurse repeatedly told him not to look at the needle and to relax. Finally, she laughingly asked if he wanted me to hold his hand. "No! Oh...wait...yes!" I held his hand, the nurse gave him the shot and he said, "That tickled."

I laughed and said, "All that drama for that?" That pleased him since he loves to entertain people and lives for, well...drama.

Later, we stopped at 7-11 for Slurpees. Sparky was excited to find Iron Man cups and straws so I let them get those. Back in the car he was telling us that he had the best cup (I guess Drama Boy's was second best --Sparky always gets there first so often gets first pick at everything) and exclaimed, "My cup is so cool. I rock! Ana kinda rocks cuz she bought them for us."

"What?" I said, "I only 'kinda' rock? I make it possible for you to rock so that means I TOTALLY ROCK."

Reprieve

We've had a quiet week. In a startling shift of events, all of the middles have been reasonably well-behaved (no suspensions, running away, harassing the neighbors, destruction; smartmouths downgraded to mild) and it's the Boss who has been a bit of a stinker.

It's a nice change of pace. Since the police paid a visit to Sparky, he has been pretty much coming straight home and remaining here as he is supposed to. This is a relief since he was hanging out with some much older kids. Not a good situation. Since none of the middle kids are allowed in the front yard unattended, we have not had any neighbor problems this week. The mailbox boy said his dad told him not to play with our kids anymore. Too bad, but understandable. They have even been getting along fairly well even though nearly every conversation turns into an argument sooner or later. Squeaker nearly missed the bus this morning so she could finish an argument over whether we would find snow in the mountains when we go.

The only downside of everyone being home when they are supposed to is that I am certain we have heard every Guitar Hero 3 song about a million and half times. That might be a slight overstatement. But only slight.

Now we have Spring Break to look forward to next week and I'm sure that will induce some cries of boredom but the boys will be doing a lot of patching and painting where they have damaged the walls.

Tomorrow, we are heading to the mountains in search of the snow which can no longer be seen from our house. We've had to wait a long time for this trip because everybody's behavior was so questionable so it will be nice for them if we do find some snow. Ana had to drive out to Palm Springs yesterday and said there is a bit more on the other side so the boys are hopeful.

Meanwhile, we're enjoying the peace for as long as it lasts.

April Fools

Given the date, we decided it would be a perfect evening for Christmas caroling. Our teenage niece and nephew drove up to join in the festivities. We bundled up in hats, mittens, and scarves, put the littles in the wagon and the dogs on leashes and set out.

The results were somewhat disappointing. Maybe it's just our neighborhood, but we didn't find a very receptive audience.

To be honest, a few of them looked petrified.