"Casey rocks. She's my best friend." Lucky commented as we were playing Guitar Hero.
"Casey Lynch?" Squeaker asked.
"This Casey." Lucky pointed to her favorite fictional character on Guitar Hero.
"That's Casey Lynch. (pause) I have a friend named Emily Lynch."
"You should ask her if she has a sister named Casey." Joked Lucky.
(pause)
"I did and she does! She has a younger sister named Casey."
(snort of laughter) That was me. I couldn't help it.
As Squeaker pointed out, Casey is a popular name right now so I guess it's possible.
I hear Wimblysnippet is gaining some popularity as well.
Showing posts with label Auntie's 2 cents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Auntie's 2 cents. Show all posts
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Who's The Best Dad?
Tonight Drama Boy, who measures relationships based on what he can get out of them, asked me who I would rather have for my dad: Bill Gates or the President.
He would have picked Bill Gates, for obvious reasons.
I told him, "I would rather have my dad than either of those guys." Lucky me.
He would have picked Bill Gates, for obvious reasons.
I told him, "I would rather have my dad than either of those guys." Lucky me.
Too Many Good-byes
Today we had to say good-bye to Sparky as he moved to a new placement.
We had a special dinner for him with ice cream floats for dessert. Trying to do something "special" for our kids (or any break in normal routine for that matter) always presents a challenge. Add to that the emotional impact of saying good-bye to yet another person in their lives...well, let's just say that it did not create the warm and loving memory we were hoping for.
Drama Boy skipped dinner and, with much moaning and drama, went to bed with a stomach ache. He rallied himself for dessert and then dissolved into a moping puddle of tears and snot when told he would have to pass. Sparky joined in the tears and declared he would not have any dessert if his brother wasn't having anything because "That's what Jesus would do."
Squeaker and Lucky got into a catfight at the dinner table which led to some pretty ugly words from Squeaker which led to an invitation for her to leave the table by Monica. She managed to get in some mean parting shots hollered over her shoulder as she stomped and slammed her way upstairs to her room.
The Boss was his usual exuberant self until he heard that Sparky would not be going to school the next day. Monica had told him that Sparky was moving, explaining that we sometimes take care of kids for a little while and then, when it's time for them to move, we have to say good-bye.
For such a little guy, the Boss has had to say good-bye to a lot of people in his life. He especially likes Sparky and will miss him very much. At the 'no school' comment, he sat up and said, "No! {Sparky} has to go to school tomorrow. Then he has to go to the Boys & Girls Club. Then he has to go to his grandma's. Then he has to come home!" He's still asking when Sparky will be home.
Sparky spent the whole evening fretting about how his clothes were being packed and worrying about his new home. He finally allowed Lucky to make him an orange soda float but cried all the way through it and needed Pepto Bismol before bed.
Everyone was a little subdued tonight and there were a few comments about how quiet it is here now that Sparky is gone. It's been a sad day.
We had a special dinner for him with ice cream floats for dessert. Trying to do something "special" for our kids (or any break in normal routine for that matter) always presents a challenge. Add to that the emotional impact of saying good-bye to yet another person in their lives...well, let's just say that it did not create the warm and loving memory we were hoping for.
Drama Boy skipped dinner and, with much moaning and drama, went to bed with a stomach ache. He rallied himself for dessert and then dissolved into a moping puddle of tears and snot when told he would have to pass. Sparky joined in the tears and declared he would not have any dessert if his brother wasn't having anything because "That's what Jesus would do."
Squeaker and Lucky got into a catfight at the dinner table which led to some pretty ugly words from Squeaker which led to an invitation for her to leave the table by Monica. She managed to get in some mean parting shots hollered over her shoulder as she stomped and slammed her way upstairs to her room.
The Boss was his usual exuberant self until he heard that Sparky would not be going to school the next day. Monica had told him that Sparky was moving, explaining that we sometimes take care of kids for a little while and then, when it's time for them to move, we have to say good-bye.
For such a little guy, the Boss has had to say good-bye to a lot of people in his life. He especially likes Sparky and will miss him very much. At the 'no school' comment, he sat up and said, "No! {Sparky} has to go to school tomorrow. Then he has to go to the Boys & Girls Club. Then he has to go to his grandma's. Then he has to come home!" He's still asking when Sparky will be home.
Sparky spent the whole evening fretting about how his clothes were being packed and worrying about his new home. He finally allowed Lucky to make him an orange soda float but cried all the way through it and needed Pepto Bismol before bed.
Everyone was a little subdued tonight and there were a few comments about how quiet it is here now that Sparky is gone. It's been a sad day.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Love is Spelled R-I-S-K
Someone's got short-timer's attitude big time around here. It probably would have been better for Sparky to move the day things were decided in court but it's a long weekend and the social worker didn't want to do any paperwork until after the holiday. The required 7-day notice has stretched into 3 weeks.
Every time Sparky gets an answer he doesn't like he says, "That's why I'm glad I'm leaving." When we remind him to follow the rules or comply in any way, he says, "I don't care. Don't talk to me." He has been oppositional, disrespectful and defiant. Nothing new there. And he continues to find a willing conspirator in Drama Boy.
The fact that Drama Boy is so easily influenced by his little brother's much stronger personality is disheartening. He has stated that he thinks he will do better here without Sparky because he "won't be so tempted to do bad things." Maybe he will just have to learn to take responsibility for his own actions. He will no longer be able to exploit his brother by blaming or deflecting as he has done in the past.
In recent days, he has found it necessary to stand up for what he wants and take some responsibility for his behavior even in the face of pressure from his mother and grandmother. I am amazed that he was able to do that. Although he wasn't able to oppose them directly, he later told the social worker that they told him to say things and "stared him down" until he did. I have no doubt that this type of coercion will continue and that, because Drama Boy is often manipulated by all members of his family, we take a risk in allowing him to stay here.
We are willing to take the risk because it gives Drama Boy the security and stability that he so desperately needs. His mother believes that he is strong and adaptable and able to succeed wherever he goes. There is some truth to that but the constant upheaval has been at the cost of his emotional and social development. Her attempts to disrupt placements due to her own insecurity and need to control has hindered her children's ability to trust and to form meaningful attachments. Drama Boy is only just beginning to realize all that he has lost and all that he still stands to lose if he continues to move from place to place. He has started to talk about and work through some of the pain of the past four years. That's huge progress.
Sparky's emotional trauma comes out as anger...anger that is out-of-control and misdirected. We did the best we could and loved him despite all of his efforts to prevent it. I'm not sure how much we were able to help him during his time with us but, as a friend commented at church yesterday, "At least you were able to put something into him."
Last week, he came home from a Christian camp and told me that he wants to be more like God. A real disciple. That's something, all right. I think God can work with that.
Every time Sparky gets an answer he doesn't like he says, "That's why I'm glad I'm leaving." When we remind him to follow the rules or comply in any way, he says, "I don't care. Don't talk to me." He has been oppositional, disrespectful and defiant. Nothing new there. And he continues to find a willing conspirator in Drama Boy.
The fact that Drama Boy is so easily influenced by his little brother's much stronger personality is disheartening. He has stated that he thinks he will do better here without Sparky because he "won't be so tempted to do bad things." Maybe he will just have to learn to take responsibility for his own actions. He will no longer be able to exploit his brother by blaming or deflecting as he has done in the past.
In recent days, he has found it necessary to stand up for what he wants and take some responsibility for his behavior even in the face of pressure from his mother and grandmother. I am amazed that he was able to do that. Although he wasn't able to oppose them directly, he later told the social worker that they told him to say things and "stared him down" until he did. I have no doubt that this type of coercion will continue and that, because Drama Boy is often manipulated by all members of his family, we take a risk in allowing him to stay here.
We are willing to take the risk because it gives Drama Boy the security and stability that he so desperately needs. His mother believes that he is strong and adaptable and able to succeed wherever he goes. There is some truth to that but the constant upheaval has been at the cost of his emotional and social development. Her attempts to disrupt placements due to her own insecurity and need to control has hindered her children's ability to trust and to form meaningful attachments. Drama Boy is only just beginning to realize all that he has lost and all that he still stands to lose if he continues to move from place to place. He has started to talk about and work through some of the pain of the past four years. That's huge progress.
Sparky's emotional trauma comes out as anger...anger that is out-of-control and misdirected. We did the best we could and loved him despite all of his efforts to prevent it. I'm not sure how much we were able to help him during his time with us but, as a friend commented at church yesterday, "At least you were able to put something into him."
Last week, he came home from a Christian camp and told me that he wants to be more like God. A real disciple. That's something, all right. I think God can work with that.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Next Stop: The Twilight Zone
In a bizarre turn of events, the judge denied the mother's petition to terminate my guardianship of Sparky and Drama Boy but then ordered increased visitation with a transition schedule to return them to her custody. How does that happen?
My attorney told me this in a "how dumb can you be that you didn't know they were offering a reunification plan" tone of voice as I gaped at him and sputtered my disbelief.
The boys have been in foster care for over four years. That's 2 1/2 years after the manditory deadline for completing a case plan. Not only that, they are in a permanent placement with a legal guardian. As long as parental rights are not terminated, parents can always file a petition claiming "change of circumstances" but, after all this time and all the obvious lies and manipulation...yeah, I'm a little surprised we're now looking at placement in 4 months time.
The social worker had asked me again if I could keep both boys if there was a no contact order (the agency's recommendation) however, now that this is a reunification case, we believe that Sparky's behavior won't allow it. He will move next week. Drama Boy will stay for the time being and start weekly visits and conjoint therapy with his mom.
Now we are called upon to support Drama Boy emotionally during this transition that we so strongly oppose. As for Sparky, it is with supreme sadness and also some relief that we let him go.
It is sadly ironic that the system that tries to prevent attachment issues often is the cause of them and that the result of a child's challenging behavior due to many moves is another move. Yet we must weigh that against the safety of the other children. It is a terrible decision to have to make.
My attorney told me this in a "how dumb can you be that you didn't know they were offering a reunification plan" tone of voice as I gaped at him and sputtered my disbelief.
The boys have been in foster care for over four years. That's 2 1/2 years after the manditory deadline for completing a case plan. Not only that, they are in a permanent placement with a legal guardian. As long as parental rights are not terminated, parents can always file a petition claiming "change of circumstances" but, after all this time and all the obvious lies and manipulation...yeah, I'm a little surprised we're now looking at placement in 4 months time.
The social worker had asked me again if I could keep both boys if there was a no contact order (the agency's recommendation) however, now that this is a reunification case, we believe that Sparky's behavior won't allow it. He will move next week. Drama Boy will stay for the time being and start weekly visits and conjoint therapy with his mom.
Now we are called upon to support Drama Boy emotionally during this transition that we so strongly oppose. As for Sparky, it is with supreme sadness and also some relief that we let him go.
It is sadly ironic that the system that tries to prevent attachment issues often is the cause of them and that the result of a child's challenging behavior due to many moves is another move. Yet we must weigh that against the safety of the other children. It is a terrible decision to have to make.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
"Have a Nice Trip. See You Next Fall."
Last night I took Drama Boy, Sparky, Squeaker and our respite kiddo, J, on one of our "good citizen walks." This time we walked from our house to the nearby WalMart, picking up abandoned shopping carts along the way and returning them to the store.
Despite my pre-walk lecture about staying together, not being loud, rude, inappropriate or otherwise obnoxious, the kids climbed in and out of the carts, ran off the sidewalk, played bumper carts, ran a cart into a fence, did not stay together and were generally loud, rude, inappropriate and obnoxious.
And, just to prove true the old cliche that "no good deed goes unpunished," my flip flops hit some water as I was crossing the street and I slipped, slid, flipped and flopped, landing hard on my knee and rolling backwards into the gutter water. Since we were still a few blocks from WalMart, I decided to continue on, dripping and squelching along the way.
Half a block later, the sidewalk was slick from sprinkler run-off. You guessed it...down I went, this time doing the splits and landing again on the same knee. Not a perfect landing, but at least this time I wasn't rolling around in the middle of the street.
We finally made it to the store, stowed the carts and walked back home without incident (with Sparky cheering me on "there's some water...do you see it?...be careful...don't fall...yay, you didn't fall...good job!) but I don't think I'm going to wear those flip flops on a public street ever again.
Despite my pre-walk lecture about staying together, not being loud, rude, inappropriate or otherwise obnoxious, the kids climbed in and out of the carts, ran off the sidewalk, played bumper carts, ran a cart into a fence, did not stay together and were generally loud, rude, inappropriate and obnoxious.
And, just to prove true the old cliche that "no good deed goes unpunished," my flip flops hit some water as I was crossing the street and I slipped, slid, flipped and flopped, landing hard on my knee and rolling backwards into the gutter water. Since we were still a few blocks from WalMart, I decided to continue on, dripping and squelching along the way.
Half a block later, the sidewalk was slick from sprinkler run-off. You guessed it...down I went, this time doing the splits and landing again on the same knee. Not a perfect landing, but at least this time I wasn't rolling around in the middle of the street.
We finally made it to the store, stowed the carts and walked back home without incident (with Sparky cheering me on "there's some water...do you see it?...be careful...don't fall...yay, you didn't fall...good job!) but I don't think I'm going to wear those flip flops on a public street ever again.
Friday, August 1, 2008
After Darkness Comes the Dawn
It is always this time in the morning that I can imagine what a "normal" life would be like. One of the littles and I were up early (which, in the summertime, is 8:30). He ate his breakfast while I posted new pictures on our artsy blog. Now he is "reading" his books to me as I type this.
Right now he is reading Oh, the Thinks You Can Think by Dr. Suess. "Hoovy, hoovy, hoovy, he thinks. Now he is in the water. And he likes the night. 'Do you like sharks?' said the guy. 'No, he doesn't.' 'Raaaah!' said the water. And he cried so much..." and so on. (You can read the book to see how close his paraphrase came to the actual text.) Other selections have included a story about a very hungry "duckel-ing", Clifford, and Veggie Tales (prompting him to sing, "doo doo dah doo doo, at the chocolate fact-tory!").
Squeaker and Lucky ran in with a cheery "Good morning. I love you." and a kiss for each cheek.Sparky and Drama Boy are still asleep. Our house is peaceful. It's a beautiful morning.
Contrast to the night before: Sparky was lurking around the girls' bedroom door and, when discovered, ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I told him to stop hiding in the bathroom since he was supposed to be in bed so he came out and immediately began telling me that he couldn't sleep because Drama Boy was hitting him. I followed him into their bedroom. He ran straight over to Drama Boy and began shouting mean things in his face. I said, "Stop. Stop. Stop! STOP!" with increasing volume and intensity. He finally stopped. But only to turn his venom on me.
Right now he is reading Oh, the Thinks You Can Think by Dr. Suess. "Hoovy, hoovy, hoovy, he thinks. Now he is in the water. And he likes the night. 'Do you like sharks?' said the guy. 'No, he doesn't.' 'Raaaah!' said the water. And he cried so much..." and so on. (You can read the book to see how close his paraphrase came to the actual text.) Other selections have included a story about a very hungry "duckel-ing", Clifford, and Veggie Tales (prompting him to sing, "doo doo dah doo doo, at the chocolate fact-tory!").
Squeaker and Lucky ran in with a cheery "Good morning. I love you." and a kiss for each cheek.Sparky and Drama Boy are still asleep. Our house is peaceful. It's a beautiful morning.
Contrast to the night before: Sparky was lurking around the girls' bedroom door and, when discovered, ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I told him to stop hiding in the bathroom since he was supposed to be in bed so he came out and immediately began telling me that he couldn't sleep because Drama Boy was hitting him. I followed him into their bedroom. He ran straight over to Drama Boy and began shouting mean things in his face. I said, "Stop. Stop. Stop! STOP!" with increasing volume and intensity. He finally stopped. But only to turn his venom on me.
He again refused to stop and refused to get in bed, now saying that he wanted to get water and why couldn't he just get water(?). I told him to stay in bed and I would bring him water because he was not allowed to leave his room.
"Hand me your cup."
"I don't have a cup." (wailing)
"You had a cup last night."
"What cup?" (angrily)
"Your Iron Man cup. Hand it to me."
Reaches for cup. "AAUUUGHH! OH MY G-D...WHAT IS THAT?!" (yelling) Falls out of bed, wiping hand on the carpet. "It has frog poop all over it!
Yes, it actually did. And now the carpet does, too. Drama Boy used Sparky's water cup to scoop water out of the frog's soaking bowl. Why? He's not saying.
Continued defiance from Sparky about washing frog poop off his hands and going back to bed.
Note to self: if you are tired and want the day to end and everyone to stay in bed, do not tell Sparky that he has a consequence for defiance. Wait until the next day.
A half hour later, he was still standing on the bannister singing an "I hate Ana" song of his own creation. Complete with guitar accompaniment. Such a clever boy.
And that's why I love mornings.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Amateur Extortionist
In many cases, the result of placing children in out-of-home care against their will (albeit for their own protection) is their need to control and manipulate. Their lives feel so out-of-control that they need to control whatever they can. Toileting and eating issues are common. Lying, stealing, triangulating, tantrums and defiance come with the territory.
For 6 1/2 years (with over 300 foster kids in our homes) we have had kids try to gain control by threatening us and other children in the home. Threatening self-harm. Physically and verbally attacking us. "Trashing" our house. Stealing and destroying property. Posturing. Lying. Making allegations. Refusing to eat. Eating until they vomit. Refusing to use the toilet. Urinating on the carpet, furniture, other people's belongings. Running away. Refusing to buckle seatbelts. Unbuckling seatbelts (their own and others) and carseats while the car is in motion. Shoes have even been used to control situations quite often. Who would have thought?
Sparky and Drama Boy have taken control to a new level, announcing their intentions: "If you don't let me do this, I'm going to be bad." or "Since you didn't let me go to my friends house, I'm going to be bad all day since I'm not supposed to be here today." and "We're going to act bad until you send us somewhere else."
And my all-time favorite: Sparky had a particularly difficult morning, becoming hostile and verbally abusive, throwing his belongings into the hallway. A little while later, in a calm moment, he asked if he could go to his friend's house to spend the night. I asked him why I should let him go. His reply? "Because I'm being bad and if I go to my friend's house you'll be able to get rid of me and when I come home, I'll be happy again."
For 6 1/2 years (with over 300 foster kids in our homes) we have had kids try to gain control by threatening us and other children in the home. Threatening self-harm. Physically and verbally attacking us. "Trashing" our house. Stealing and destroying property. Posturing. Lying. Making allegations. Refusing to eat. Eating until they vomit. Refusing to use the toilet. Urinating on the carpet, furniture, other people's belongings. Running away. Refusing to buckle seatbelts. Unbuckling seatbelts (their own and others) and carseats while the car is in motion. Shoes have even been used to control situations quite often. Who would have thought?
Sparky and Drama Boy have taken control to a new level, announcing their intentions: "If you don't let me do this, I'm going to be bad." or "Since you didn't let me go to my friends house, I'm going to be bad all day since I'm not supposed to be here today." and "We're going to act bad until you send us somewhere else."
And my all-time favorite: Sparky had a particularly difficult morning, becoming hostile and verbally abusive, throwing his belongings into the hallway. A little while later, in a calm moment, he asked if he could go to his friend's house to spend the night. I asked him why I should let him go. His reply? "Because I'm being bad and if I go to my friend's house you'll be able to get rid of me and when I come home, I'll be happy again."
Thursday, July 24, 2008
My Starfish
One of the best things in my life. The reason I do what I do.
Daughter of my heart, I love you forever.
Ana and "Stickers"
(check out her talent on our artsy blog)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
That Was Random
The Boss: "Auntie, I think the trees are like boys and girls (pronounced 'grills')."
Me: "Oh, really?"
The Boss: "Yeah, I think they are laughing at me."
Me: "Why would they laugh at you?"
The Boss: "Because they are."
Well, that explains it.
Me: "Oh, really?"
The Boss: "Yeah, I think they are laughing at me."
Me: "Why would they laugh at you?"
The Boss: "Because they are."
Well, that explains it.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
What We Say vs. What They Hear
Overheard at the beach--
Small boy to woman walking large dog: What kind of dog is that?
Woman: A labrador.
Small boy to other small boy: Did you hear that? She said her dog was a hamburger!
________________________
While riding in the car with The Boss--
The Boss (pointing to car in next lane): Is that a Mustang?
Me: No.
The Boss: What is it, then?
Me: I think it's a Honda.
The Boss: A corndog?
Small boy to woman walking large dog: What kind of dog is that?
Woman: A labrador.
Small boy to other small boy: Did you hear that? She said her dog was a hamburger!
________________________
While riding in the car with The Boss--
The Boss (pointing to car in next lane): Is that a Mustang?
Me: No.
The Boss: What is it, then?
Me: I think it's a Honda.
The Boss: A corndog?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
No Animals Were Harmed in the Making of this Meal
At dinner, the Boss was trying to identify the food on his plate. He speared a piece and said, "Hey, that's a cricket."
It was asparagus. Any resemblance to any insect, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
It was asparagus. Any resemblance to any insect, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Summer "Fun"
Well, it's day three of summer vacation and it feels like a month.
On day one, I asked Drama Boy to pick up a sock that he threw into the hallway instead of the hamper. He said, "I guess it's going to be another boring day." So then he got to pick a chore so he would have something to do and he cried about that. On day two, he cried when he had to empty the dishwasher and then asked if he could move out before he turned 18. Please do.
Sparky has had a meltdown or blow out at least once every single day. My favorite so far: he was going to squirt Drama Boy with the water bottle so DB punched him. Sparky came to tattle. I began, "You need..." and he shouted "SEE YOU ALWAYS BELIEVE HIM AND I AM THE ONE WHO GETS IN TROUBLE EVEN IF I DON'T DO ANYTHING. I HATE YOUR FRICKIN GUTS!" Hmmm. Okaaay.
And, by the way, I had to get up three times since I started writing this to send them back to bed or break up a fight. (And take some Tums and 2 Excedrin.)
How many days until school starts?
On day one, I asked Drama Boy to pick up a sock that he threw into the hallway instead of the hamper. He said, "I guess it's going to be another boring day." So then he got to pick a chore so he would have something to do and he cried about that. On day two, he cried when he had to empty the dishwasher and then asked if he could move out before he turned 18. Please do.
Sparky has had a meltdown or blow out at least once every single day. My favorite so far: he was going to squirt Drama Boy with the water bottle so DB punched him. Sparky came to tattle. I began, "You need..." and he shouted "SEE YOU ALWAYS BELIEVE HIM AND I AM THE ONE WHO GETS IN TROUBLE EVEN IF I DON'T DO ANYTHING. I HATE YOUR FRICKIN GUTS!" Hmmm. Okaaay.
And, by the way, I had to get up three times since I started writing this to send them back to bed or break up a fight. (And take some Tums and 2 Excedrin.)
How many days until school starts?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Life on the Rollercoaster
Drama Boy and Sparky's mom has petitioned the court to have the boys returned to her custody continuing a 4 year pattern of starting reunification services and ending with incarceration. Four years of broken promises and high hopes that come crashing back down to earth resulting in even more rejection, anger and emotional trauma.
Granted, at the moment she is doing better than she ever has. She completed a drug treatment program (ordered by criminal court as part of her probation) and currently has housing (albeit at a clean-and-sober living program) however her instability has been evident in her increasing hostility, emotional manipulation and irrational accusations.
We have court next week and I really don't know how this is going to go but I know it's not going to be pretty. All I can do is put my boys in God's hands and keep loving them for all the days that He gives us.
Granted, at the moment she is doing better than she ever has. She completed a drug treatment program (ordered by criminal court as part of her probation) and currently has housing (albeit at a clean-and-sober living program) however her instability has been evident in her increasing hostility, emotional manipulation and irrational accusations.
We have court next week and I really don't know how this is going to go but I know it's not going to be pretty. All I can do is put my boys in God's hands and keep loving them for all the days that He gives us.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Sex Education
One of the challenges of parenting older adopted and foster kids is that you don't always know where the gaps are. There can be gaps between chronological age and emotional age, gaps in the child's history--sometimes even between what the social workers know and what they actually tell you. There are often educational and developmental gaps due to numerous or sudden moves, neglect, trauma, genetic or organic factors.
And then there is the big communication gap: they don't know what they don't know and you don't know what they don't know until you find out that some important information fell through the cracks.
The other day, Sparky used a word he shouldn't have and then admitted that he didn't even know what it meant. I gave him the definition of the word but first had to give him some information about sex, asking him if any other caregiver had ever talked to him about it before. Nope. All his (mis)information had come from other kids, movies or TV. I gave him the basics...just what I felt was appropriate for his age and the situation. I then told him it wasn't a very good idea to use words when he didn't know the meaning and that he could ask me what any word meant and I would tell him. His response? "Yuk! I don't even want to know!"
Just a few days earlier, Drama Boy had been asking how twins are made. Monica asked him, "Well, do you know how babies are made?" and he said, "You mean you have to do it twice?" When he asked my mom about it later, she tried to explain it this way, "Sometimes one egg will split in two..." he interrupted, "Eggs? You mean we're not mammals?" To everyone's laughter, he bemoaned the fact that he missed "The Movie" at school.
That conversation was about to become too involved for our family barbecue so I assured him that when he asked me later I would explain the entire process. From the beginning.
And then there is the big communication gap: they don't know what they don't know and you don't know what they don't know until you find out that some important information fell through the cracks.
The other day, Sparky used a word he shouldn't have and then admitted that he didn't even know what it meant. I gave him the definition of the word but first had to give him some information about sex, asking him if any other caregiver had ever talked to him about it before. Nope. All his (mis)information had come from other kids, movies or TV. I gave him the basics...just what I felt was appropriate for his age and the situation. I then told him it wasn't a very good idea to use words when he didn't know the meaning and that he could ask me what any word meant and I would tell him. His response? "Yuk! I don't even want to know!"
Just a few days earlier, Drama Boy had been asking how twins are made. Monica asked him, "Well, do you know how babies are made?" and he said, "You mean you have to do it twice?" When he asked my mom about it later, she tried to explain it this way, "Sometimes one egg will split in two..." he interrupted, "Eggs? You mean we're not mammals?" To everyone's laughter, he bemoaned the fact that he missed "The Movie" at school.
That conversation was about to become too involved for our family barbecue so I assured him that when he asked me later I would explain the entire process. From the beginning.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Not a Bad Day
Sparky is back in school today following two days of doctor-ordered bed rest. It's a good thing, too. If I have to hear Alvin and the Chipmunks sing Bad Day one more time, I think I'll go nuts.
He has another doctor's appointment today to determine if the rest of the staples can come out. I doubt this story-line will come to an end here. His leg was looking ooky again when I examined it this morning.
Last night, Drama Boy was saying that he's going to be embarrassed to be out in public with Sparky if he has a big scar on his leg but, of course, Sparky is worried that it won't be impressive enough. Squeaker piped in to say that when they are in high school together ("me as a senior, you as a freshman"), she won't be embarrassed to say she knows him even with a big scar. I told him that it wouldn't even be noticible by then with all the hair. Sparky gave me a sideways look, eyeroll and "ewwww!"
He has another doctor's appointment today to determine if the rest of the staples can come out. I doubt this story-line will come to an end here. His leg was looking ooky again when I examined it this morning.
Last night, Drama Boy was saying that he's going to be embarrassed to be out in public with Sparky if he has a big scar on his leg but, of course, Sparky is worried that it won't be impressive enough. Squeaker piped in to say that when they are in high school together ("me as a senior, you as a freshman"), she won't be embarrassed to say she knows him even with a big scar. I told him that it wouldn't even be noticible by then with all the hair. Sparky gave me a sideways look, eyeroll and "ewwww!"
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Natural Consequences
Sparky and I spent 8 hours in the Emergency Room yesterday (and into early this morning) getting an extraordinarily ugly gash in his leg stapled up. Actually, the stapling part only took about 10 minutes, the rest was spent waiting for the doctor, the nurse, the x-ray technician, etc. Always good to have an opportunity to practice patience.
Here's what happened:
Sparky asked to go to his friend's house and beat me to my first question by telling me that his friend's mom was home. Since the boys have very limited neighborhood privileges right now, I told him he could go for 45 minutes. I also told him not to go anywhere else. "I won't," he said. Yeah, right.
An hour later, Drama boy called my cell phone crying and saying that Sparky had fallen and cut his leg open. When I asked where they were, he couldn't tell me, wasn't really sure but gave some directions I couldn't understand. Finally, he said, "They'll just take us," and hung up. Who? Where? Yikes.
I found them in the back of some strangers truck with their friend and some teenage boy I've told them to stay away from, no shoes, smelling like a sewer, a dirty towel wrapped around Sparky's leg . Apparently, they were playing near a deep storm drain full of green, slimey water and their "friend" told Sparky to push Drama Boy in. Drama Boy, tired of being called weak by this kid, decided he was going to prove something so he pushed Sparky instead.
So, now Sparky has staples in his leg and lots of pain and Drama Boy has lots of guilt. They told me that they learned their lesson and they are never going to play there again. Not exactly the most critical lesson here but I guess it's a start.
More about our emergency room fun later.
Here's what happened:
Sparky asked to go to his friend's house and beat me to my first question by telling me that his friend's mom was home. Since the boys have very limited neighborhood privileges right now, I told him he could go for 45 minutes. I also told him not to go anywhere else. "I won't," he said. Yeah, right.
An hour later, Drama boy called my cell phone crying and saying that Sparky had fallen and cut his leg open. When I asked where they were, he couldn't tell me, wasn't really sure but gave some directions I couldn't understand. Finally, he said, "They'll just take us," and hung up. Who? Where? Yikes.
I found them in the back of some strangers truck with their friend and some teenage boy I've told them to stay away from, no shoes, smelling like a sewer, a dirty towel wrapped around Sparky's leg . Apparently, they were playing near a deep storm drain full of green, slimey water and their "friend" told Sparky to push Drama Boy in. Drama Boy, tired of being called weak by this kid, decided he was going to prove something so he pushed Sparky instead.
So, now Sparky has staples in his leg and lots of pain and Drama Boy has lots of guilt. They told me that they learned their lesson and they are never going to play there again. Not exactly the most critical lesson here but I guess it's a start.
More about our emergency room fun later.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Performing Monkey
Drama Boy has requested a name change. At dinner tonight he was asking if there was another word to replace drama. After entertaining suggestions from nearly everyone (and vehemently rejecting Thespian Boy), he decided on Performing Monkey.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Ana Rocks (kinda)
While waiting for shot at the doctor's yesterday, Drama Boy worked himself into a fit of nervous giggling, whining and squirming. The nurse repeatedly told him not to look at the needle and to relax. Finally, she laughingly asked if he wanted me to hold his hand. "No! Oh...wait...yes!" I held his hand, the nurse gave him the shot and he said, "That tickled."
I laughed and said, "All that drama for that?" That pleased him since he loves to entertain people and lives for, well...drama.
Later, we stopped at 7-11 for Slurpees. Sparky was excited to find Iron Man cups and straws so I let them get those. Back in the car he was telling us that he had the best cup (I guess Drama Boy's was second best --Sparky always gets there first so often gets first pick at everything) and exclaimed, "My cup is so cool. I rock! Ana kinda rocks cuz she bought them for us."
"What?" I said, "I only 'kinda' rock? I make it possible for you to rock so that means I TOTALLY ROCK."
I laughed and said, "All that drama for that?" That pleased him since he loves to entertain people and lives for, well...drama.
Later, we stopped at 7-11 for Slurpees. Sparky was excited to find Iron Man cups and straws so I let them get those. Back in the car he was telling us that he had the best cup (I guess Drama Boy's was second best --Sparky always gets there first so often gets first pick at everything) and exclaimed, "My cup is so cool. I rock! Ana kinda rocks cuz she bought them for us."
"What?" I said, "I only 'kinda' rock? I make it possible for you to rock so that means I TOTALLY ROCK."
Monday, March 24, 2008
A Rare Day
Sometimes, once in a very great while, we have a wonderful day when everyone is well-behaved, pleasant with each other, and actually fun to be around. When it happens on a holiday, it is nothing short of miraculous. This Easter was one of those rare days.
All through breakfast, the Jesus Movie Project (we didn't make it to church because the only car that fits all of us wouldn't start), lunch with family, Guitar Hero with the cousins, August Rush (their only Easter gift), jump rope, Apples to Apples, egg decorating, dinner around the fire pit, a night time Easter egg hunt with glow-in-the-dark eggs, more time around the fire pit with the middles drinking hot chocolate and amusing each other with fart jokes (I got to supervise that since Peaches and Monica were putting the littles to bed) the kids were happy, relaxed and even grateful. Yep, you read that right...grateful. The most amazing thing was that I only had to tell them one time to go to bed. Remarkable. Unheard of.
What a gift. Thanks, guys.
All through breakfast, the Jesus Movie Project (we didn't make it to church because the only car that fits all of us wouldn't start), lunch with family, Guitar Hero with the cousins, August Rush (their only Easter gift), jump rope, Apples to Apples, egg decorating, dinner around the fire pit, a night time Easter egg hunt with glow-in-the-dark eggs, more time around the fire pit with the middles drinking hot chocolate and amusing each other with fart jokes (I got to supervise that since Peaches and Monica were putting the littles to bed) the kids were happy, relaxed and even grateful. Yep, you read that right...grateful. The most amazing thing was that I only had to tell them one time to go to bed. Remarkable. Unheard of.
What a gift. Thanks, guys.
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