Squeaker and Lucky had a shriekingly loud go-at-it last night over a hairbrush. Lucky said Squeaker gave it to her but Squeaker was peeved about something and demanded it back. This is why we have very strict rules about not giving away or borrowing each other's possessions in this house. Also, when someone has something new we must often assume it is stolen.
Sadly, Squeaker allowed things to get to the point of threatening, bullying, wishing Lucky dead and then shouting me down and threatening to call a social worker to get one of them moved. Good luck with that, sweetheart.
She now must go 48 hours without threatening or disrespectful behavior to earn back privileges. Generally it takes about three or four days to get 48 hours straight.
And I have to go buy Lucky a new hairbrush.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Bribe
The Boss has a great many fears and phobias and pecularities that makes it difficult sometimes to get him to do normal things that a five year old should do on his own.
He will not go into a room by himself, let alone sleep by himself. He chooses his clothes for the day based on which one has the kind of tag he likes to touch. For a long time he wouldn't wear long sleeves or shorts. He becomes almost hysterical when he has to get his hair cut because he gets itchy. He was terribly difficult to potty train because he was afraid of the toilet and would pull his shirt up over his nose at the smell of his own pee. He doesn't just object, he screams and cries piteously for hours. Undiagnosed as of yet apart from some developmental delays, getting him assessed is something I think we will need to do in order to insure his success in school. It is quite possible we will just find out he's just a quirky little dude.
We've helped him progress in some of these areas by taking it slow and offering tempting bribes along the way. It cost me three really cool toys and a ton of candies just to get him potty trained. He had just turned four years old and it was our third attempt.
Our current challenge is getting him to go to the bathroom on his own without crying and begging me to go with him because he is too scared. I couldn't even be in the kitchen when he used the downstairs bathroom just down a short hall or in the master bedroom when he used the bathroom there. It's been three days and so far so good. I bought a huge bag of individual m&m packages and he can choose a package every time he uses the bathroom without asking me to go with him as long as he shares it with Seamonkey. He's drinking a lot of water to earn more candy and has been chowing down on quite a lot of it. It's okay by me to sugar him up good for the week if that means not being begged or ordered to go to the bathroom with him all day long.
Is he not so stankin' cute, though?
He will not go into a room by himself, let alone sleep by himself. He chooses his clothes for the day based on which one has the kind of tag he likes to touch. For a long time he wouldn't wear long sleeves or shorts. He becomes almost hysterical when he has to get his hair cut because he gets itchy. He was terribly difficult to potty train because he was afraid of the toilet and would pull his shirt up over his nose at the smell of his own pee. He doesn't just object, he screams and cries piteously for hours. Undiagnosed as of yet apart from some developmental delays, getting him assessed is something I think we will need to do in order to insure his success in school. It is quite possible we will just find out he's just a quirky little dude.
We've helped him progress in some of these areas by taking it slow and offering tempting bribes along the way. It cost me three really cool toys and a ton of candies just to get him potty trained. He had just turned four years old and it was our third attempt.
Our current challenge is getting him to go to the bathroom on his own without crying and begging me to go with him because he is too scared. I couldn't even be in the kitchen when he used the downstairs bathroom just down a short hall or in the master bedroom when he used the bathroom there. It's been three days and so far so good. I bought a huge bag of individual m&m packages and he can choose a package every time he uses the bathroom without asking me to go with him as long as he shares it with Seamonkey. He's drinking a lot of water to earn more candy and has been chowing down on quite a lot of it. It's okay by me to sugar him up good for the week if that means not being begged or ordered to go to the bathroom with him all day long.
Is he not so stankin' cute, though?
Monday, March 2, 2009
Changes
I've been trying to decide if I want to continue blogging or give it up. Things have changed and in the cycle we are in now we seem to be dealing with less annoying-yet-amusing absurdity which was fun and somewhat stress-reducing to blog about. Nowadays most of the kids seem to be in full-blown emotional overload as we go through major life changes for some and major issues with birth family for others.
I want to give a clear picture of what life with older adopted/foster kids and kids with mental illness is like but also want to protect the privacy and confidentiality of said kids. I wish life with my adopted kids was all sunsets and kittens and happy endings like an episode of "Adoption Stories" but that's just not reality. They're dealing with huge losses, emotions, feelings of unfairness, and many other issues and it comes out primarily in one way.....anger. It's not all bad but it sure isn't all good either. That doesn't change the fact that I love all my kids dearly and wish life didn't have to be so hard and frustrating for them.
Right now blogging allows me to de-stress a bit. It helps me to read blogs of other adoptive parents of older kids to know that we are not alone in the crazy life we've chosen. I've gotten a lot of comfort and ideas from other bloggers. I doubt that I have been as helpful but sometimes it's just nice to know that someone else's life is a bizarre as your own feels.
So I think I will continue to blog for now but will need do so in a way that is much more careful about the personal info shared. For those of you who personally know us, thanks for using what you read here to gain understanding and compassion and for loving and supporting my kids even when you've heard the worst.
I want to give a clear picture of what life with older adopted/foster kids and kids with mental illness is like but also want to protect the privacy and confidentiality of said kids. I wish life with my adopted kids was all sunsets and kittens and happy endings like an episode of "Adoption Stories" but that's just not reality. They're dealing with huge losses, emotions, feelings of unfairness, and many other issues and it comes out primarily in one way.....anger. It's not all bad but it sure isn't all good either. That doesn't change the fact that I love all my kids dearly and wish life didn't have to be so hard and frustrating for them.
Right now blogging allows me to de-stress a bit. It helps me to read blogs of other adoptive parents of older kids to know that we are not alone in the crazy life we've chosen. I've gotten a lot of comfort and ideas from other bloggers. I doubt that I have been as helpful but sometimes it's just nice to know that someone else's life is a bizarre as your own feels.
So I think I will continue to blog for now but will need do so in a way that is much more careful about the personal info shared. For those of you who personally know us, thanks for using what you read here to gain understanding and compassion and for loving and supporting my kids even when you've heard the worst.
For Now
Squeaker seems to have settled down for now. She usually has about a good week or so of calm, more regulated moods before we cycle around again. Her little sister is going to continue to go to church with us. She used to go with some neighbors but she likes our church better and gets to spend time with Squeaker since we go out for lunch after so it's nice for everybody. She and her dad are coming up this way next weekend. We agreed that we want them to have a lot of contact but neither one is ready for overnight visits since they both have had pretty mixed up emotions the past few weeks since they started seeing each other again. We'll just have to take it slow and see how things progress.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Peace
Finally a day with no screaming and slamming. A little backtalk and a kicked toy is all. I can live with that.
She keeps giving me a hangdog look and "I apologize" when she thinks that it will get her off the hook. I told her she can stop apologizing and show me with improved behavior if she is truly sorry. We'll see.
I have no idea what to do about visits with her sister since just one afternoon threw her totally out of whack. I'm leaning toward one overnight with her sister here this weekend but no overnight visits at her sister's house since that's where she used to live with her bio mom. I told her that she needed to live in reality and not start to think of the old apartment as home. She agreed but I don't know if that was real agreement or just "give mom whatever she wants to hear so I'll get what I want" agreement. Again, we'll just have to wait and see how things play out and if we can reestablish contact without losing major emotional ground.
One thing I definitely need to do is get her back into counseling. She has done much better without it but now I think it might be beneficial again. When I brought it up to her she screamed at me that she wasn't a "psycho b****" and didn't need therapy. I fined her a dollar for cussing and said I would schedule an appointment anyway.
She keeps giving me a hangdog look and "I apologize" when she thinks that it will get her off the hook. I told her she can stop apologizing and show me with improved behavior if she is truly sorry. We'll see.
I have no idea what to do about visits with her sister since just one afternoon threw her totally out of whack. I'm leaning toward one overnight with her sister here this weekend but no overnight visits at her sister's house since that's where she used to live with her bio mom. I told her that she needed to live in reality and not start to think of the old apartment as home. She agreed but I don't know if that was real agreement or just "give mom whatever she wants to hear so I'll get what I want" agreement. Again, we'll just have to wait and see how things play out and if we can reestablish contact without losing major emotional ground.
One thing I definitely need to do is get her back into counseling. She has done much better without it but now I think it might be beneficial again. When I brought it up to her she screamed at me that she wasn't a "psycho b****" and didn't need therapy. I fined her a dollar for cussing and said I would schedule an appointment anyway.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Happy Birthday Squeaker
Squeaker turns fourteen today. She had a very rough week but, after a confrontation on Wednesday, really pulled it up yesterday. She is off the hook from doing my chores, although still grounded next week. We've had some rough times for the past four years but I think she's actually going to be the one who comes out of her teen years with some wisdom and maturity. We work on her issues a lot and she is often forced to face her behavior and accept responsibility. After some major drama and rage, she usually rises to the occasion and attempts to make positive changes.
Her younger birth sister is coming to stay the weekend with us. She hasn't seen her in four years and is very excited about it. I'm glad her sister's dad is letting her come. She is back in contact with her older birth sister who is now married with a daughter of her own. Yesterday she found out that ther birth mother desires to have contact with her again. I am apprehensive about it because of how horribly her mom treated her at their last phone call, but I am going to allow it with supervision because Squeaker misses her and has been wanting to talk to her for some time.
I am so proud to be this girl's mom. I keep trying to tell her that she is so much more than her diagnosis and her rotten past, so much better than the negative self-talk and victim status that she spends so much time thinking about. Some day she's going to believe it and she's going to be great.
Her younger birth sister is coming to stay the weekend with us. She hasn't seen her in four years and is very excited about it. I'm glad her sister's dad is letting her come. She is back in contact with her older birth sister who is now married with a daughter of her own. Yesterday she found out that ther birth mother desires to have contact with her again. I am apprehensive about it because of how horribly her mom treated her at their last phone call, but I am going to allow it with supervision because Squeaker misses her and has been wanting to talk to her for some time.
I am so proud to be this girl's mom. I keep trying to tell her that she is so much more than her diagnosis and her rotten past, so much better than the negative self-talk and victim status that she spends so much time thinking about. Some day she's going to believe it and she's going to be great.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Doings and Goings On
President's Day WEEK is going as vacations do.
The littles quarrel and tattle constantly but still play together all day without pause. Yesterday one of them closed the stopper on the sink and left the water running, flooding the upstairs bathroom. It ran down the vents to drown the downstairs bathroom as well. I put towels down to soak up the mess. The older kids freaked out when they went to wash hands for lunch thinking the flood might have come from a more unsavory source.
Shorty had a doctor appointment this morning which meant a lot of time in the car as we still go to the next county. Tomorrow I will drive him down to a friend's house about an hour away and then head a half hour's drive to pick up one of the kids from a friend's house before making the hour long trip back home. We don't really live in the boonies but it seems like it sometimes. Squeaker has already started rolling her eyes and snorting so we're all kept informed on how put out she is to have to be in the car again.
Lucky brought home an mp3 player belonging to her godfather's seven year old daughter. She asked me to charge it so I did, then promptly confiscated it. I had to explain to her that we don't allow young girls in our home to listen to music filled with profanity and nasty references to cheap, dirty sex. She borrowed that from a seven year old? Good grief.
Squeaker got into several little spats with one of the littles yesterday then yelled at me about how he was acting when I got on her about it. Does she really want her behavior compared with that of a three-year-old?
Today she went a little too far with snarky, rude comments about my messy room after I had spent all day yesterday and part of today on the rest of the house. Actually, way too far. So I made her a detailed list and she is taking over all my household/yard/pet chores so I can have the luxury of tidying my room to her satisfaction. She managed to get through cooking and cleaning up dinner, doing dishes, sweeping, and folding a load of laundry before admitting she was ready to pass out. That was only part of the evening chores. Tomorrow should be fun since she'll be privileged to get up early and put in a full day of it.
I've been having Lucky work a little each day on her science fair project which is due next Monday. It's been going okay but tomorrow she starts working on the report part of it. Writing is a challenge for her but she seems to have a good grasp of the experiment and the result so I'm hoping it will go easily for her.
Stickers finally gets back into her college art classes tomorrow after a long break. That will be good since I think maybe we've given her some sort of creative block. I've commissioned her to paint a new piece to go above our fireplace since she keeps mercilessly criticizing the one that is there now. Yes, she painted that one too.
The littles quarrel and tattle constantly but still play together all day without pause. Yesterday one of them closed the stopper on the sink and left the water running, flooding the upstairs bathroom. It ran down the vents to drown the downstairs bathroom as well. I put towels down to soak up the mess. The older kids freaked out when they went to wash hands for lunch thinking the flood might have come from a more unsavory source.
Shorty had a doctor appointment this morning which meant a lot of time in the car as we still go to the next county. Tomorrow I will drive him down to a friend's house about an hour away and then head a half hour's drive to pick up one of the kids from a friend's house before making the hour long trip back home. We don't really live in the boonies but it seems like it sometimes. Squeaker has already started rolling her eyes and snorting so we're all kept informed on how put out she is to have to be in the car again.
Lucky brought home an mp3 player belonging to her godfather's seven year old daughter. She asked me to charge it so I did, then promptly confiscated it. I had to explain to her that we don't allow young girls in our home to listen to music filled with profanity and nasty references to cheap, dirty sex. She borrowed that from a seven year old? Good grief.
Squeaker got into several little spats with one of the littles yesterday then yelled at me about how he was acting when I got on her about it. Does she really want her behavior compared with that of a three-year-old?
Today she went a little too far with snarky, rude comments about my messy room after I had spent all day yesterday and part of today on the rest of the house. Actually, way too far. So I made her a detailed list and she is taking over all my household/yard/pet chores so I can have the luxury of tidying my room to her satisfaction. She managed to get through cooking and cleaning up dinner, doing dishes, sweeping, and folding a load of laundry before admitting she was ready to pass out. That was only part of the evening chores. Tomorrow should be fun since she'll be privileged to get up early and put in a full day of it.
I've been having Lucky work a little each day on her science fair project which is due next Monday. It's been going okay but tomorrow she starts working on the report part of it. Writing is a challenge for her but she seems to have a good grasp of the experiment and the result so I'm hoping it will go easily for her.
Stickers finally gets back into her college art classes tomorrow after a long break. That will be good since I think maybe we've given her some sort of creative block. I've commissioned her to paint a new piece to go above our fireplace since she keeps mercilessly criticizing the one that is there now. Yes, she painted that one too.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Crazy Love
Just finished this very intriguing book by Francis Chan.
I've been outside of my comfort zone so long that I've been spending too much time recently missing my safety "bubble". No more! My life is far too comfortable and not radical enough.
Ana and I sold our house and quit our jobs so we could commit our resources and time to meeting the needs of hurting kids in the foster care system. Our finances and ourselves got pretty used up and beat up along the way. We've done what we could but so far haven't been doing it long enough (only eight years) to even have any success stories. Most of the kids have moved on and we will never know the rest of their stories. We've given our lives to caring for and loving kids who often hate us or steal and destroy our stuff in return.
When we began to feel resentful that our stuff was getting ruined we sold it or gave it away so that we would not be tempted to love stuff and comfort more than the kids. We needed the cars so we couldn't get rid of those but now we view them as "just stuff" too, tools to be used to help others. The intentional scratches, dents, and dings inflicted by the kids on my once-nice car bear witness to the troubled, angry kids that God has allowed us to care for. When we heard through our church that a recently widowed young woman with six children had lost her van we were able to give her one of ours....because it wasn't really ours any more anyway. We gave it over to God for his use and purposes as we did with all of our remaining belongings.
I like to take charge and be in control of my surroundings and Ana loves peace and hates conflict. How did we end up living lives of such constant conflict with situations over which we have no control? And to be honest, most days it doesn't feel like we're all that great at it. Nothing showed me more vividly what a wretched person I can be than having to live with and love people who are hateful, mean, destructive, and often give nothing back at all. It was so easy to love those in my "bubble" who loved me back (or at least pretended to). The "bubble" was such a nice place to live, work, and play. If not for the love of God and the desire to do what he commands, I'd be there still. I once visited a church that had a sign over the door going out into the world that read "You Are Now Entering Your Mission Field". I need that same sign over the door going into my home.
Crazy stuff. But not crazy enough to match the amazing, overwhelming, radical love of Jesus. What else can I do or give up so that my kids will know how crazy God is about them? How can I reach more kids? How can we help families who have taken in these hurting kids and had their lives turned upside down because of it?
I can't wait to find out.
I've been outside of my comfort zone so long that I've been spending too much time recently missing my safety "bubble". No more! My life is far too comfortable and not radical enough.
Ana and I sold our house and quit our jobs so we could commit our resources and time to meeting the needs of hurting kids in the foster care system. Our finances and ourselves got pretty used up and beat up along the way. We've done what we could but so far haven't been doing it long enough (only eight years) to even have any success stories. Most of the kids have moved on and we will never know the rest of their stories. We've given our lives to caring for and loving kids who often hate us or steal and destroy our stuff in return.
When we began to feel resentful that our stuff was getting ruined we sold it or gave it away so that we would not be tempted to love stuff and comfort more than the kids. We needed the cars so we couldn't get rid of those but now we view them as "just stuff" too, tools to be used to help others. The intentional scratches, dents, and dings inflicted by the kids on my once-nice car bear witness to the troubled, angry kids that God has allowed us to care for. When we heard through our church that a recently widowed young woman with six children had lost her van we were able to give her one of ours....because it wasn't really ours any more anyway. We gave it over to God for his use and purposes as we did with all of our remaining belongings.
I like to take charge and be in control of my surroundings and Ana loves peace and hates conflict. How did we end up living lives of such constant conflict with situations over which we have no control? And to be honest, most days it doesn't feel like we're all that great at it. Nothing showed me more vividly what a wretched person I can be than having to live with and love people who are hateful, mean, destructive, and often give nothing back at all. It was so easy to love those in my "bubble" who loved me back (or at least pretended to). The "bubble" was such a nice place to live, work, and play. If not for the love of God and the desire to do what he commands, I'd be there still. I once visited a church that had a sign over the door going out into the world that read "You Are Now Entering Your Mission Field". I need that same sign over the door going into my home.
Crazy stuff. But not crazy enough to match the amazing, overwhelming, radical love of Jesus. What else can I do or give up so that my kids will know how crazy God is about them? How can I reach more kids? How can we help families who have taken in these hurting kids and had their lives turned upside down because of it?
I can't wait to find out.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Sadie Hawkins Dance
Found this on Claudia's blog. Pretty funny especially if you're a little behind on sleep. Try it.
1. Put your iPod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got the note from.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Walking on Sunshine
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Beautiful Day
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Nothing Without You
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Laughed Until We Cried
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Simple Things
WHAT DO YO UR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Some People Change
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
The Heart of Life
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Walk This Way
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Take it All
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
See the World
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Margaritaville
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
She Bangs the Drums
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
A Kiss to Build a Dream On
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Play Me
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
My Life
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
If You're Going Through Hell
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Shop Around
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Through the Fire and the Flames
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Give Me Your Eyes
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
The Dance
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
How to Save a Life
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
House in California
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Sadie Hawkins Dance
1. Put your iPod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got the note from.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Walking on Sunshine
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Beautiful Day
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Nothing Without You
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Laughed Until We Cried
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Simple Things
WHAT DO YO UR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Some People Change
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
The Heart of Life
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Walk This Way
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Take it All
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
See the World
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Margaritaville
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
She Bangs the Drums
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
A Kiss to Build a Dream On
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Play Me
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
My Life
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
If You're Going Through Hell
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Shop Around
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Through the Fire and the Flames
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Give Me Your Eyes
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
The Dance
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
How to Save a Life
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
House in California
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Sadie Hawkins Dance
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
All Worthwhile
Squeaker just knocked on my door and handed me an envelope. Inside, on a thank-you card, was this note:
Dear Mom,
Thank you for all you've done for me and everyone else. I love you and by just watching you you've taught me that there's no way to be a perfect parent but a million good ways to be a great one. You are about as good as they get and I wouldn't trade you for the world. I love you lots. Thank you.
Love,
------- - -------
I don't know if she swiped that from a Hallmark Card or if they should pay her to write for them, but that's about the sweetest note I've ever received.
Dear Mom,
Thank you for all you've done for me and everyone else. I love you and by just watching you you've taught me that there's no way to be a perfect parent but a million good ways to be a great one. You are about as good as they get and I wouldn't trade you for the world. I love you lots. Thank you.
Love,
------- - -------
I don't know if she swiped that from a Hallmark Card or if they should pay her to write for them, but that's about the sweetest note I've ever received.
School Meeting
The IEP meeting at Squeaker's school went about as expected. Her math teacher Mr. B came down pretty hard on her but did it in a kind way. Her failing grade is due solely to missed assignments not test scores. She will have to repeat alegebra 1 as a freshman. No surprises there. She tried to act surprised and indignant but her special ed teacher jumped on it right away telling her to let Mr. B finish talking. I also reminded her that we already had the discussion at home that she will likely repeat math next year. If she continues to complete the work this year she will have a jump on it next year.
Her behavior has improved tremendously and her teacher had all good things to say about how hard she is trying and succeeding at containing her anger at school. She has an A in her general ed english class and is doing well in all subjects but math where her emotions and attitude are her downfall.
She'll attend summer school through the special ed program on the high school campus and will receive credits. We'll try the public high school for next year as it reportedly has an excellent special ed program and hope to move her into all mainstream classes by the end of her freshman or sophomore year.
Those were much better reports in an IEP meeting than we have received before so I am guardedly optimistic that she will continue to progress positively in both behavior and academics.
Her behavior has improved tremendously and her teacher had all good things to say about how hard she is trying and succeeding at containing her anger at school. She has an A in her general ed english class and is doing well in all subjects but math where her emotions and attitude are her downfall.
She'll attend summer school through the special ed program on the high school campus and will receive credits. We'll try the public high school for next year as it reportedly has an excellent special ed program and hope to move her into all mainstream classes by the end of her freshman or sophomore year.
Those were much better reports in an IEP meeting than we have received before so I am guardedly optimistic that she will continue to progress positively in both behavior and academics.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Crybaby
Definitely need to get some sleep. I'm tired and cranky. My back hurts and I've had an earache for a week. Every time one of the kids asks for something I get irritated especially when I'm already in the middle of doing something for somebody else. And while I'm wallowing in annoyance and self-pity it's really bugging me when somebody says "mom" and before I even get a chance to answer they start in on "mom, mom, mom, mom, MOM!" (substitute "granny" at least one third of the time). Also, that whole call my name or start telling me a story when somebody else is already telling me a story that I can barely hear anyway? Getting old, too. And right now The Boss is in bed making moaning noises because I said he couldn't watch a movie because he was acting like a turd pie and then saying no when I tell him to stop. And while I'm on it, why does everyone have to be so loud and/or shrill all of the time? They all have an entire week of for President's Day. Why do they call it President's Day if they're going to give them a week off? What am I going to do with all of them for a week? Hope they like the park and the library. Hope it doesn't rain.
As you see nobody is acting horribly at all but still my last nerve is ground down to a nubby stump. It's not them, it's me. (I'm not dumping them, don't worry.) Plus, I miss Ana and I'm ready for her to come home now. Stickers has asked me twice if it's harder not having Ana here. Except for a few logistical challenges, it hasn't been all that hard but it has been a lot more boring.
Forget sleep. I think I need a little vacation. Thankfully, I hear The Boss' honking snores so at least he's down for the night.
As you see nobody is acting horribly at all but still my last nerve is ground down to a nubby stump. It's not them, it's me. (I'm not dumping them, don't worry.) Plus, I miss Ana and I'm ready for her to come home now. Stickers has asked me twice if it's harder not having Ana here. Except for a few logistical challenges, it hasn't been all that hard but it has been a lot more boring.
Forget sleep. I think I need a little vacation. Thankfully, I hear The Boss' honking snores so at least he's down for the night.
Friday, February 6, 2009
That Explains A Lot
Last night The Boss and I were sitting together on my bed watching a movie. Well, I sat. He bounced and jerked, flailed his arms, kicked his feet, and repeatedly thwacked his head against the pillow. No, he wasn't having a tantrum. That's just how he sits.
My repeated requests for him to be still and stop moving were met with "okay" but little movement reduction. Finally exasperated after getting elbowed again I said, "Can you PLEASE knock it off? Why do you do that?"
He laughingly replied, "Because I'm a kid."
Oh. Of course.
My repeated requests for him to be still and stop moving were met with "okay" but little movement reduction. Finally exasperated after getting elbowed again I said, "Can you PLEASE knock it off? Why do you do that?"
He laughingly replied, "Because I'm a kid."
Oh. Of course.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
They're Good Kids, Really
Despite the fact that the kids are driving me a bit buggy, I am feeling especially fond of them all this week.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Hello Young Lovers
I've been reminded by a few people that I haven't blogged in a bit so here I am. It's not for lack for things going on but because I'd been so annoyed for quite a bit of last week.
I've mentioned before about the massive amount of lying that goes on around here. Recently I've been amazed and aggravated at how much time is spent by the kids trying to deceive me. Right now we're in a "secret boyfriend" phase starting right at the twelve year old. Oh, but her birth mom says it's okay so I guess that one is supposed to be all right.
Last week one of the secret boyfriends actually got up the decency to come to the door and talk to me and ask (and apologize) if I had a problem with him. I told him that I had been pretty clear under what conditions he could see one of my girls. Neither he nor she had honored those conditions choosing instead to sneak around and have a relationship in secret and so, yes, that was my problem with him. If he does what I asked him to do then he may come and visit and continue to see her.
We'll just have to wait and see on that one and in the meantime I'm going to have to confront all the sneakiness. The middle girls are also sneaking each other's clothes to school and changing there so I won't know, sneaking into people's rooms to take their things, and asking to go for "walks" every day. Right. It's extremely irritating because now whenever they ask to do something I assume that they have other motives and may not actually be going to the place that they tell me. I won't even get into the covering up for one another, only outdone by the ratting each other out.
And now Valentine's Day is coming up. More drama I predict. Sigh.
I've mentioned before about the massive amount of lying that goes on around here. Recently I've been amazed and aggravated at how much time is spent by the kids trying to deceive me. Right now we're in a "secret boyfriend" phase starting right at the twelve year old. Oh, but her birth mom says it's okay so I guess that one is supposed to be all right.
Last week one of the secret boyfriends actually got up the decency to come to the door and talk to me and ask (and apologize) if I had a problem with him. I told him that I had been pretty clear under what conditions he could see one of my girls. Neither he nor she had honored those conditions choosing instead to sneak around and have a relationship in secret and so, yes, that was my problem with him. If he does what I asked him to do then he may come and visit and continue to see her.
We'll just have to wait and see on that one and in the meantime I'm going to have to confront all the sneakiness. The middle girls are also sneaking each other's clothes to school and changing there so I won't know, sneaking into people's rooms to take their things, and asking to go for "walks" every day. Right. It's extremely irritating because now whenever they ask to do something I assume that they have other motives and may not actually be going to the place that they tell me. I won't even get into the covering up for one another, only outdone by the ratting each other out.
And now Valentine's Day is coming up. More drama I predict. Sigh.
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