Squeaker had a rough start to the weekend on Friday night. Lucky had a little end of the year party with a few friends then we took the middles and The Boss to get a pizza to take to the park. Squeaker got into a minor spat with The Boss and then would not let it go, back-talking and noncompliant all evening and into Saturday morning. I took her for a walk on Saturday to talk about how she is choosing to heap consequences upon herself by letting small incidents turn into full-blown temper tantrums. She is in the third week of minimal privileges which started out by her being annoyed that I called her in to do chores and ended with name-calling, door slamming, destruction of property, and violent throwing of heavy objects. The walk and talk seemed to help with conduct and demeanor improving for the rest of the day.
Her stepdad and birth sister stopped by in the afternoon and I allowed her to be outside and play for a while. Her sister will come back today to go to church with us and spend the day. She and her dad are moving out of state in the beginning of July so I expect high emotions when we say our good-byes tonight.
The bigger kids have been making themselves scarce and hardly talking to us when they are here so it's been a relatively quiet weekend apart from The Boss lamenting that he has nobody to play with any more.
Showing posts with label tantrums. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tantrums. Show all posts
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Day Two is a Bust
If Squeaker had managed (or bothered) to treat members of the household with even a speck of respect she would already be back to full privileges. As it is, she keeps resetting the clock by her snarky attitude and mean comments.
She started off reasonably well yesterday with only one small correction about her tone but by late afternoon she was off to the races again. She started in on the Boss again, repeatedly calling him a stupid baby until Ana asked Lucky to take him outside. That made her mad enough that she just would not shut up or stop rattling abusive names and chanting trashy rap songs.
I left Shorty cooking dinner and took her upstairs. I tried to talk to her but that was a complete waste of time resulting only in F-words and "I hate yous" (from her, not me). She also told me that she is going to become anorexic just to show me that she can, angry that I consider her threats to be attention seeking. She told me not to set a place at the table because she's never going to eat with us. Thirty minutes later she was at the table eating and dishing up seconds.
When I left her up in her room to cool down and be away from the others, she shouted names out the window at the Boss and a neighbor boy.
That window now has a lock on it so she cannot open it.
Another opportunity to take a fresh shot at it starts at 4 o'clock when she gets off the bus.
She started off reasonably well yesterday with only one small correction about her tone but by late afternoon she was off to the races again. She started in on the Boss again, repeatedly calling him a stupid baby until Ana asked Lucky to take him outside. That made her mad enough that she just would not shut up or stop rattling abusive names and chanting trashy rap songs.
I left Shorty cooking dinner and took her upstairs. I tried to talk to her but that was a complete waste of time resulting only in F-words and "I hate yous" (from her, not me). She also told me that she is going to become anorexic just to show me that she can, angry that I consider her threats to be attention seeking. She told me not to set a place at the table because she's never going to eat with us. Thirty minutes later she was at the table eating and dishing up seconds.
When I left her up in her room to cool down and be away from the others, she shouted names out the window at the Boss and a neighbor boy.
That window now has a lock on it so she cannot open it.
Another opportunity to take a fresh shot at it starts at 4 o'clock when she gets off the bus.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
That Happened
In what turned out to be a crummy end to an otherwise nice holiday weekend, Squeaker flipped out right before bedtime and launched into an hour's worth of backtalk and nonsense babble.
Unfortunately she is again demonstrating the fact that she is not ready for privileges that a normal fourteen year old normally enjoys. Last night a neighbor girl spent the night. When Squeaker has friends over, for whatever reason, it increases her rudeness and meanness to the other kids in the house especially towards Lucky and The Boss.
Tonight, while complaining that she's "not allowed to do anything", she also stomped, slammed, called me names, threw stuff at The Boss, mimicked him and called him "stupid" and "crybaby", and talked and sang loudly to herself when I finally parked her on a bench downstairs.
It is true that such immature, out of the blue, off the wall reactions do mean that she's not allowed to do much without supervision.
I wonder what it would be like to parent a "normal" teenager. I really have no idea.
Unfortunately she is again demonstrating the fact that she is not ready for privileges that a normal fourteen year old normally enjoys. Last night a neighbor girl spent the night. When Squeaker has friends over, for whatever reason, it increases her rudeness and meanness to the other kids in the house especially towards Lucky and The Boss.
Tonight, while complaining that she's "not allowed to do anything", she also stomped, slammed, called me names, threw stuff at The Boss, mimicked him and called him "stupid" and "crybaby", and talked and sang loudly to herself when I finally parked her on a bench downstairs.
It is true that such immature, out of the blue, off the wall reactions do mean that she's not allowed to do much without supervision.
I wonder what it would be like to parent a "normal" teenager. I really have no idea.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Movie Mad-ness
For the second day in a row, Squeaker had a teenage tantrum about watching a DVD...this time after I told her to turn off a movie with some inappropriate dialogue which she kept repeating and making sure Lucky didn't miss.
Tonight's display included stomping, defiance, yelling in my face and a lot of muttering under her breath, mostly about how stupid and retarded I am.
During her "time out" she shoved the dining table around and repeatedly banged on the couch. When told to stop, she said, "And what are you going to do if I don't? Yeah, that's what I thought."
When she finally went off to bed, I heard "what a jerk" and "I hate you" coming from the room she shares with Lucky but it got really quiet when I went and stood in the doorway. All is peaceful now. Sweet dreams.
Tonight's display included stomping, defiance, yelling in my face and a lot of muttering under her breath, mostly about how stupid and retarded I am.
During her "time out" she shoved the dining table around and repeatedly banged on the couch. When told to stop, she said, "And what are you going to do if I don't? Yeah, that's what I thought."
When she finally went off to bed, I heard "what a jerk" and "I hate you" coming from the room she shares with Lucky but it got really quiet when I went and stood in the doorway. All is peaceful now. Sweet dreams.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Geek High Five
So much going on with all the kids that I haven't been able to get my head straight to blog any of it. I feel like thoughts and ideas and worries are flying around in my brain but none of them connecting. When I described the feeling to Ana, complete with a demonstration of my index fingers shooting past each other but not meeting, she said, "Like a geek high five."
Two challenging kids back to line-of-sight supervision to protect property and the neighbors, daily lies and misdirection, irrational fears and unexplainable fits from the five year old (how will he go to kindergarten in the fall when he cries for 45 minutes because he has to go to the bathroom by himself?), keeping the littles safe from the meanness of the middles, navigating the complexities of older teens stuck somewhere in the crack between adult freedom and childish irresponsibility...all the while being constantly reminded that we don't communicate or do things like everybody's "real family". No wonder my head is rattled. These days I have no idea what I'm doing or what I've gotten myself into.
Squeaker is still acting a bit off even for her. She's cussing me out one minute and then acting super sweet and trying to engage me in coversation the next. She may be able to switch moods in 10 seconds flat but me, not so much. I don't even get how she can be so hateful and then come out and ask me sweetly for a privilege or favor while I'm still feeling freshly overhauled by her latest rage.
A renewed outburst of mean-and-nasty in which she pulled out every cruel insult and ugly word in her arsenal and shoved her bed in front of the door, resulted in her losing her activity for the evening and all privileges the next day.
I thought Saturday would be a toughy because that was the day that she was supposed to go either to Disneyland with her sister or to her cheer competition but her chronic temper had lost all privileges for the weekend. However, she did fine and was reasonably cheerful all day. I gave her a short hair cut as a fix for her hacking off big chunks from one side. She's been cutting/shaving/pulling snatches of her hair for years and I'm constantly taking her in to get it fixed so this time I did it myself.
Another cell phone went missing last week and, although I knew she and Lucky must have it, they kept it hidden for three days. I keep my bedroom door locked any time I am out of the room but this stealing thing has really gotten out of hand. shorty had set the phone down outside while he was on the trampoline and one of the girls just picked it up and slunk off unnoticed. Squeaker asked this week to go to the neighbor's house for the afternoon. Not hardly, little klepto.
Now the girls must ask permission to leave their room in the morning, go upstairs, outside or anywhere we can't see them. We must know where they are at all times even in the house. What a silly way to live. I don't want to be a jailor. Squeaker also frequently says mean things to The Boss when she thinks no one is around. But he's the biggest tattler in the house and then she hates him even more when he brings reinforcements.
As it turns out, keeping them close to home doesn't necessarily mean keeping the neighborhood safe from their obnoxiously inappropriate behavior. Monday night we got a knock on the door from one of our back-fence neighbors. Seems our sweet young ladies have been spending their time on the trampoline yelling naughty words, making fun of the neighbors in a racially disparaging way, and throwing bark and debris into their pool.
You know, I'm proud of my kids and I'm usually happy to claim them as mine but sometimes I want to say to people, "I didn't raise them that way! They didn't get that from me!"
Just sometimes.
Two challenging kids back to line-of-sight supervision to protect property and the neighbors, daily lies and misdirection, irrational fears and unexplainable fits from the five year old (how will he go to kindergarten in the fall when he cries for 45 minutes because he has to go to the bathroom by himself?), keeping the littles safe from the meanness of the middles, navigating the complexities of older teens stuck somewhere in the crack between adult freedom and childish irresponsibility...all the while being constantly reminded that we don't communicate or do things like everybody's "real family". No wonder my head is rattled. These days I have no idea what I'm doing or what I've gotten myself into.
Squeaker is still acting a bit off even for her. She's cussing me out one minute and then acting super sweet and trying to engage me in coversation the next. She may be able to switch moods in 10 seconds flat but me, not so much. I don't even get how she can be so hateful and then come out and ask me sweetly for a privilege or favor while I'm still feeling freshly overhauled by her latest rage.
A renewed outburst of mean-and-nasty in which she pulled out every cruel insult and ugly word in her arsenal and shoved her bed in front of the door, resulted in her losing her activity for the evening and all privileges the next day.
I thought Saturday would be a toughy because that was the day that she was supposed to go either to Disneyland with her sister or to her cheer competition but her chronic temper had lost all privileges for the weekend. However, she did fine and was reasonably cheerful all day. I gave her a short hair cut as a fix for her hacking off big chunks from one side. She's been cutting/shaving/pulling snatches of her hair for years and I'm constantly taking her in to get it fixed so this time I did it myself.
Another cell phone went missing last week and, although I knew she and Lucky must have it, they kept it hidden for three days. I keep my bedroom door locked any time I am out of the room but this stealing thing has really gotten out of hand. shorty had set the phone down outside while he was on the trampoline and one of the girls just picked it up and slunk off unnoticed. Squeaker asked this week to go to the neighbor's house for the afternoon. Not hardly, little klepto.
Now the girls must ask permission to leave their room in the morning, go upstairs, outside or anywhere we can't see them. We must know where they are at all times even in the house. What a silly way to live. I don't want to be a jailor. Squeaker also frequently says mean things to The Boss when she thinks no one is around. But he's the biggest tattler in the house and then she hates him even more when he brings reinforcements.
As it turns out, keeping them close to home doesn't necessarily mean keeping the neighborhood safe from their obnoxiously inappropriate behavior. Monday night we got a knock on the door from one of our back-fence neighbors. Seems our sweet young ladies have been spending their time on the trampoline yelling naughty words, making fun of the neighbors in a racially disparaging way, and throwing bark and debris into their pool.
You know, I'm proud of my kids and I'm usually happy to claim them as mine but sometimes I want to say to people, "I didn't raise them that way! They didn't get that from me!"
Just sometimes.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
One Day At a Time
Things were better yesterday with Squeaker apart from having to go pick her up (right after I had put the littles down for a nap) because she "missed the bus". I had halfway expected her to miss it because there was a soccer meeting she wanted to go to after school even though I told her to come straight home.
I had a brief talk with her this morning about how she has been acting the past few weeks and that things needed to change including the way I was reacting to it. She didn't disagree when I suggested that visiting her sister and sister's dad was causing an internal struggle with loyalties. She has not been thinking of us as family because she still wants them and she is a very black-and-white thinker. I told her that her orginal family can still be family as is her adoptive family. She nodded hesitantly so I'm not sure what she's getting from that.
Anyway, we're on a day-by-day system now wherein she has no privileges whatsoever and has to earn them for the next day. Hoping this will work better than the loss of privileges system which just makes her mad and gives no incentive to stop. She can easily turn one day of lost privileges into two weeks of wrath and hell. She has agreed to the earning privileges method and still wants to be able to go to Disneyland with her sister next month so I'm hoping for positive results at least for the next few weeks.
I had a brief talk with her this morning about how she has been acting the past few weeks and that things needed to change including the way I was reacting to it. She didn't disagree when I suggested that visiting her sister and sister's dad was causing an internal struggle with loyalties. She has not been thinking of us as family because she still wants them and she is a very black-and-white thinker. I told her that her orginal family can still be family as is her adoptive family. She nodded hesitantly so I'm not sure what she's getting from that.
Anyway, we're on a day-by-day system now wherein she has no privileges whatsoever and has to earn them for the next day. Hoping this will work better than the loss of privileges system which just makes her mad and gives no incentive to stop. She can easily turn one day of lost privileges into two weeks of wrath and hell. She has agreed to the earning privileges method and still wants to be able to go to Disneyland with her sister next month so I'm hoping for positive results at least for the next few weeks.
Monday, March 9, 2009
"Some Beach....Somewhere"*
Squeaker's behavior is tanking again and I am not handling it well. I am so over and done with being screamed at and called names by her. My patience is worn thin and I'm having a hard time getting a grip on my reactions.
I did laugh at a couple of her rantings today though. I said something about her being barely out of childhood and she said, "So's your mother!" Huh? That doesn't even make a good joke. She also likes to tell me how old and wrinkled and decrepit I am and today I laughed at that too. Until she slammed a bench into the wall and made a dent. I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her away from the wall and told her to just get up to her room away from everyone else. That was the wrong thing to do (obviously, you say) and it unleashed a torrent of "F--- you!"s all the way up the stairs along with a lot more slamming.
That kid brings out the absolute worst in me and I feel terrible about it. Although most days I'm able to keep myself pretty much in check.
What we are doing is not working and we need to try something else.
Plus, the pharmacy is having some sort of problem with the insurance and we won't have all her meds for the morning.
Find a happy place.....
*Blake Shelton
I did laugh at a couple of her rantings today though. I said something about her being barely out of childhood and she said, "So's your mother!" Huh? That doesn't even make a good joke. She also likes to tell me how old and wrinkled and decrepit I am and today I laughed at that too. Until she slammed a bench into the wall and made a dent. I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her away from the wall and told her to just get up to her room away from everyone else. That was the wrong thing to do (obviously, you say) and it unleashed a torrent of "F--- you!"s all the way up the stairs along with a lot more slamming.
That kid brings out the absolute worst in me and I feel terrible about it. Although most days I'm able to keep myself pretty much in check.
What we are doing is not working and we need to try something else.
Plus, the pharmacy is having some sort of problem with the insurance and we won't have all her meds for the morning.
Find a happy place.....
*Blake Shelton
Thursday, January 8, 2009
"Watch Your Mouth, Kid, or You're Gonna Find Yourself Floating Home."**
The Boss has been rude and smart-mouthy the last few days. He snorts, stomps, crosses his arms, rolls his eyes, and heaves huge sighs when I ask him to do anything. C'mon kid, one thirteen-year-old-girl-attitude in this family is enough right now and five is a little too early to be starting the "mom is an idiot" phase.
When I was sending him to time-out this afternoon I told him to remember that he was acting this way now so he can just skip right on past it when he gets older.
I was trying to get out the door but he wouldn't cooperate and come out of time-out so I had to leave him with Ana while I took Shorty shoe shopping. He screamed, cried, kicked, hit, and pinched for an hour and half while I was gone. The Boss, that is, not Shorty.
When I got home he said, "I'm not crying any more, mom." and immediately started asking for chips, jumps on the trampoline, and drinks of my coke.
Glad he recovered so happily. Ana looked wiped out for the rest of the evening. I'm sure they'll both sleep soundly tonight.
**Han Solo to Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars, of course.
When I was sending him to time-out this afternoon I told him to remember that he was acting this way now so he can just skip right on past it when he gets older.
I was trying to get out the door but he wouldn't cooperate and come out of time-out so I had to leave him with Ana while I took Shorty shoe shopping. He screamed, cried, kicked, hit, and pinched for an hour and half while I was gone. The Boss, that is, not Shorty.
When I got home he said, "I'm not crying any more, mom." and immediately started asking for chips, jumps on the trampoline, and drinks of my coke.
Glad he recovered so happily. Ana looked wiped out for the rest of the evening. I'm sure they'll both sleep soundly tonight.
**Han Solo to Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars, of course.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Haircut Hysteria
Drama Boy came back from his visit last weekend with bleach-orange hair and a weed-hacker haircut that he did himself. The deal Ana made with him was that if he wanted to dye all of his hair then he needed to trim up his shaggy, Disney-channel 'do.
So Ana went out with him to get his hair cut. He went agreeably enough. But in the car he started having a fit, cursing and crying and carrying on finally telling Ana if she made him cut his hair he would kill himself but make it look like she killed him.
Who says we don't have sweet children?
So she brought him back home and sent him to his room.
Then she decided to take Lucky to get a trim instead and so, naturally, DB had to freak out that she gets to have a haircut and he doesn't.
He fussed and whined and screamed about the unfairness of it all. You see, it's not that he didn't want a haircut it's that he didn't want a haircut from that particular hair cuttery. He ranted and rambled into the subject of unfair allowances and other imaginary injustices and discrepancies that litter his muddled little brain.
So then Ana agreed to take him for a haircut when she took Lucky.
"WHY?!?", says I. (Aren't I the supportive one?)
Well, I guess it's better than another false allegation.
Punk.
So Ana went out with him to get his hair cut. He went agreeably enough. But in the car he started having a fit, cursing and crying and carrying on finally telling Ana if she made him cut his hair he would kill himself but make it look like she killed him.
Who says we don't have sweet children?
So she brought him back home and sent him to his room.
Then she decided to take Lucky to get a trim instead and so, naturally, DB had to freak out that she gets to have a haircut and he doesn't.
He fussed and whined and screamed about the unfairness of it all. You see, it's not that he didn't want a haircut it's that he didn't want a haircut from that particular hair cuttery. He ranted and rambled into the subject of unfair allowances and other imaginary injustices and discrepancies that litter his muddled little brain.
So then Ana agreed to take him for a haircut when she took Lucky.
"WHY?!?", says I. (Aren't I the supportive one?)
Well, I guess it's better than another false allegation.
Punk.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Party's Over
Grandma left today and the old snarky Squeaker returned.
Three weeks ago she rearranged her school schedule to join choir. She called me and begged....please, please, please...you know I've always wanted to sing. I agreed hesitantly when she was on the phone. It turned into a bit of a problem because I had some reservations about her joining and when I did not show the proper amount of enthusiasm she turned it into an afternoon scream-fest. Her behavior addressed and sorted out, she started the following Monday. She neglected to tell me she had two performances that week. For one I had to take her early to school (she normally rides the bus) and the other was on a Saturday where we already had plans. She also forgot to mention that before those performances I had to buy her school choir shirt and make sure she had black pants and shoes to wear. Grumble, grumble, grumble....but I did it.
In the midst of this she also decided to join the basketball team at school. I had already said no to this because she is involved in cheer and too many activities for her are not a good thing. That turned into a rip-roaring, multi-day, screaming, door slamming tantrum.
Last week she had to be dropped off early again to be measured for the dress which we will need to buy for more formal concerts. Okay, did it, done. No, I cannot donate sodas for your fundraiser car wash, so sorry.
Then on Friday of last week she announced that she was dropping choir to become an aide in the office. Huh? What's up with that? Screaming, door slamming, F-word spewage, since you ask.
Today the real? truth came out. She had an incident with one of the girls in the class. Squeaker did nothing wrong, the girl just hates her. So she asked to get out of the class so she wouldn't lose it and get suspended. Her counselor really does want her to be an office aide though.
Wait, don't like that one? Well, the plan was to join choir because she needed an elective in order to become office aide. She only took the class so she could drop and become an office aide. Real-ly? So glad I scrambled around (on my birthday!) to get her to all her performances and bought her outfit and endured her tantrums about getting into the class.
Well, what if there's a problem as office aide? There won't be because the only other kid is her best-best friend. REAL-LY? And they get to go around together without a teacher to deliver notices to the classrooms. Oh, so fun.
So of course there won't be a problem. The only problem is that I won't give her a chance. I obviously just want to pick a fight since I am even questioning this move. She is going to trust her kids. I'm giving that the "Snark of the Day" award. So far she's lied and manipulated to get to be office aide and her counselor and resource teacher think it's a good move and I'm the mean, old witch because I'm not on board.
She acted like a horse's patoot all evening, muttered snide comments, told the dog "At least you're loved" and refused meds. SO looking forward to spending the day with her tomorrow because refused meds means no school.
I told her I appreciated her helping me by her actions make the decision about what she's ready for and what she's not. Her reply, "Bite me!"
Yep, so ready to run around campus without adult supervision.
Three weeks ago she rearranged her school schedule to join choir. She called me and begged....please, please, please...you know I've always wanted to sing. I agreed hesitantly when she was on the phone. It turned into a bit of a problem because I had some reservations about her joining and when I did not show the proper amount of enthusiasm she turned it into an afternoon scream-fest. Her behavior addressed and sorted out, she started the following Monday. She neglected to tell me she had two performances that week. For one I had to take her early to school (she normally rides the bus) and the other was on a Saturday where we already had plans. She also forgot to mention that before those performances I had to buy her school choir shirt and make sure she had black pants and shoes to wear. Grumble, grumble, grumble....but I did it.
In the midst of this she also decided to join the basketball team at school. I had already said no to this because she is involved in cheer and too many activities for her are not a good thing. That turned into a rip-roaring, multi-day, screaming, door slamming tantrum.
Last week she had to be dropped off early again to be measured for the dress which we will need to buy for more formal concerts. Okay, did it, done. No, I cannot donate sodas for your fundraiser car wash, so sorry.
Then on Friday of last week she announced that she was dropping choir to become an aide in the office. Huh? What's up with that? Screaming, door slamming, F-word spewage, since you ask.
Today the real? truth came out. She had an incident with one of the girls in the class. Squeaker did nothing wrong, the girl just hates her. So she asked to get out of the class so she wouldn't lose it and get suspended. Her counselor really does want her to be an office aide though.
Wait, don't like that one? Well, the plan was to join choir because she needed an elective in order to become office aide. She only took the class so she could drop and become an office aide. Real-ly? So glad I scrambled around (on my birthday!) to get her to all her performances and bought her outfit and endured her tantrums about getting into the class.
Well, what if there's a problem as office aide? There won't be because the only other kid is her best-best friend. REAL-LY? And they get to go around together without a teacher to deliver notices to the classrooms. Oh, so fun.
So of course there won't be a problem. The only problem is that I won't give her a chance. I obviously just want to pick a fight since I am even questioning this move. She is going to trust her kids. I'm giving that the "Snark of the Day" award. So far she's lied and manipulated to get to be office aide and her counselor and resource teacher think it's a good move and I'm the mean, old witch because I'm not on board.
She acted like a horse's patoot all evening, muttered snide comments, told the dog "At least you're loved" and refused meds. SO looking forward to spending the day with her tomorrow because refused meds means no school.
I told her I appreciated her helping me by her actions make the decision about what she's ready for and what she's not. Her reply, "Bite me!"
Yep, so ready to run around campus without adult supervision.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
On Birthdays
Our birthday flowers from Friday are all dead so I guess it's official....the party's over and now we're forty.
Birthdays are always kind of sticky events around here. Drama Boy, Sparky, and often Squeaker have a difficult time if anybody gets anything that they do not get. They are of the mind that they are always getting gypped in some way if anybody else gets attention.
On Friday, we got cake and flowers and that was it but if Sparky had been here he still would have been a raging, cursing mess. Non-eventish as this one was we still did not get off scott-free. Drama Boy had a big crying fit when Ana would not drive him to his friend's house nor allow him to walk all the way across town to find him. He spent all afternoon blubbering over the phone book trying to find his friend's listing since he had neglected to ask for his phone number. He did okay at dinner then screamed at Squeaker when she asked him to come downstairs for cake.
We've had crying, screaming meltdowns on every birthday so far this year. This snarkiness is not limited to birthdays. Both the boys were on the receiving end of the "it's not all about you" lecture on Squeaker's adoption day last summer and Squeaker has already demonstrated that she will need it an upcoming adoption day next week. Drama Boy even cries when we take the other kids out to dinner while he is visiting his grandma.
And on the bright side, we were both pleased that no one had a major tantrum and no one called us ugly names which is how we celebrated the past few years. The girls not only wished us happy birthday, they also helped us clean the house before our family came for dinner. Lucky got Ana a card. One of the girls put up some streamers and gave us each a key keepsake on a shoelace (which we wore all day and I plan to wear on birthdays and new year's from now on). I bought a mix and the girls made and decorated a cake. That's more than any of our kids have ever done for us and was entirely sweet of them.
Ahead: The Boss, Lucky, and Drama Boy all have December birthdays. Since DB particularly dislikes the other two we'll be bracing ourselves for plenty of nastiness and bad attitude on their days.
Birthdays are always kind of sticky events around here. Drama Boy, Sparky, and often Squeaker have a difficult time if anybody gets anything that they do not get. They are of the mind that they are always getting gypped in some way if anybody else gets attention.
On Friday, we got cake and flowers and that was it but if Sparky had been here he still would have been a raging, cursing mess. Non-eventish as this one was we still did not get off scott-free. Drama Boy had a big crying fit when Ana would not drive him to his friend's house nor allow him to walk all the way across town to find him. He spent all afternoon blubbering over the phone book trying to find his friend's listing since he had neglected to ask for his phone number. He did okay at dinner then screamed at Squeaker when she asked him to come downstairs for cake.
We've had crying, screaming meltdowns on every birthday so far this year. This snarkiness is not limited to birthdays. Both the boys were on the receiving end of the "it's not all about you" lecture on Squeaker's adoption day last summer and Squeaker has already demonstrated that she will need it an upcoming adoption day next week. Drama Boy even cries when we take the other kids out to dinner while he is visiting his grandma.
And on the bright side, we were both pleased that no one had a major tantrum and no one called us ugly names which is how we celebrated the past few years. The girls not only wished us happy birthday, they also helped us clean the house before our family came for dinner. Lucky got Ana a card. One of the girls put up some streamers and gave us each a key keepsake on a shoelace (which we wore all day and I plan to wear on birthdays and new year's from now on). I bought a mix and the girls made and decorated a cake. That's more than any of our kids have ever done for us and was entirely sweet of them.
Ahead: The Boss, Lucky, and Drama Boy all have December birthdays. Since DB particularly dislikes the other two we'll be bracing ourselves for plenty of nastiness and bad attitude on their days.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Meltdown
The Boss totally flipped out a little bit ago when I put him on his bed and shut the door because he wouldn't sit in time out.
Seamonkey was already in timeout on his bed because he would not stay where I put him either. He was laying quietly on his bed, but the Boss reacted like the kid in The Sixth Sense when he got locked in the attic. I'm pretty sure there were no dead people in the bedroom, but he screamed "I'm scared, I'm scared!" repeatedly.
When I opened the door he kicked and pounded the walls, broke a nightlight, kicked and scratched at me when I tried to hold him, then thrashed around and smacked the dog twice in the face when I put him down. When I got after him about hitting the dog he finally wanted to be picked up. It took a while for his screaming to subside and then he whined for a while longer and allowed me to hold him but only cradled, not sitting up.
He was terrified and angry and completely out of control. He's fine now and I'm tense. I guess I won't be putting him in his room again.
Seamonkey was already in timeout on his bed because he would not stay where I put him either. He was laying quietly on his bed, but the Boss reacted like the kid in The Sixth Sense when he got locked in the attic. I'm pretty sure there were no dead people in the bedroom, but he screamed "I'm scared, I'm scared!" repeatedly.
When I opened the door he kicked and pounded the walls, broke a nightlight, kicked and scratched at me when I tried to hold him, then thrashed around and smacked the dog twice in the face when I put him down. When I got after him about hitting the dog he finally wanted to be picked up. It took a while for his screaming to subside and then he whined for a while longer and allowed me to hold him but only cradled, not sitting up.
He was terrified and angry and completely out of control. He's fine now and I'm tense. I guess I won't be putting him in his room again.
24 Hours
Squeaker and Drama Boy got into a fight on Friday over what movie they were going to watch next. When it started to get ugly, I stepped in and told them they lost the privilege to choose so move away from the tv so I could put something on for the littles.
DB had to be told twice but finally shut his mouth and moved on. Squeaker, as she often does, turned the fight on me when she didn't get what she wanted. Never a good move. She can get pretty gnarly pretty quickly and it's impossible to get her to reign in her temper once she gets going.
I had her sit out for the remainder of the evening and she lost all privileges until she could go 24 hours without talking back or being rude to me or anyone else. Since her "time" was on Saturday she did it easily as we had no other plans that day.
She has maintained a pleasant demeanor through the rest of the weekend and this morning. I wish we could continue this way but her mood changes without warning and often with no apparent provocation. During the week is often the worst because her stress level is higher.
It's tough when you don't enjoy your kid very much a lot of the time.
DB had to be told twice but finally shut his mouth and moved on. Squeaker, as she often does, turned the fight on me when she didn't get what she wanted. Never a good move. She can get pretty gnarly pretty quickly and it's impossible to get her to reign in her temper once she gets going.
I had her sit out for the remainder of the evening and she lost all privileges until she could go 24 hours without talking back or being rude to me or anyone else. Since her "time" was on Saturday she did it easily as we had no other plans that day.
She has maintained a pleasant demeanor through the rest of the weekend and this morning. I wish we could continue this way but her mood changes without warning and often with no apparent provocation. During the week is often the worst because her stress level is higher.
It's tough when you don't enjoy your kid very much a lot of the time.
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